I have a Blog and I’m not afraid to Use It

Driving long distance provides Robert and I ample talk time. I imagine most couples occupy the air inside a vehicle with a variation of say, talking and music, but in the case of Robert and I…….we despise each others music choices.

He is Metallica and I resemble U2. It can get ugly if we try and force our music on each other, mosh pit ugly. He wants to smoother me with the sleep pillow he says my music inspires for him. I want to remove the screw driver his music drives into my forehead and shove it through his eyeball.  The only non-violent solution is silence or talking. Our conversations often go deep South or wildly North. It depends on the leading conversational keywords………

Rebecca: ” Well, if that’s what you think you need, you better look for a new wife.”

Robert: ” I don’t want a new wife, but maybe a small harem would be fun. You don’t think having multiple husbands catering to you would be remotely interesting?”

Rebecca: “ I’v heard this concept from other men, so I won’t hold it against you, but why do men think having multiple wives would be the answer to their dreams? You’d never hear a woman state she’d like mutliple husbands, no way. There wouldn’t be enough time in the day to clean up after all of them, find things for them, sooth their egos and pump their pride. No thank you.” 

Robert: “ Oh come on, it couldn’t be that bad! Well, as a man, a house full of woman does sound appealing for many reasons.”

(OH, I’m sure it does!)

Rebecca: “Why exactly? That is, beyond only thinking you’d get to have sex all day long. Answer carefully here buddy, I have a blog and I’m not afraid to use it.”

Robert: ” I’m not saying another word.”

Rebecca: “Oh come on, I’m intrigued, lets hear it.”

Robert: “Conversation is over.”

Rebecca: “Chicken shit.”

There is a reason you never, ever, hear a woman say, “Gee, I think it would be fun to have multiple husbands.” We ladies carry a deep understanding of the implications such an arrangement would create. Ladies, can you just imagine if two of them had a sniffle or felt ill? That thought makes my toes curl. It would never work unless us gals could muster a serious mentality role reversal and men got shot up with enough estrogen to shed a few tears on a daily basis.

I’m sure in some twisted way, multiple ladies would be a swanky deal for the guys. But multiple men? Nope, I’ve thought about it, One, is plenty.

After edit~It was just decided, I’m off for another 3 or 4 days of salmon fishing. Goodie! More drive (talk) time! I hope everyone has a great week~

I wish I may, I wish I might……

Be gone again, this very night.

Traveling and exploring. It’s like a drug. A sensational… just try it once or twice and you’re hooked, sort of addiction. I’ve only been home since late last night and the walls of my house feel like a torture chamber of implied stationary boredom. In other words, I want the hell out of here, and pronto. Another emergency trip of the soul saving….. travel variety may be in order in the next few days. I’m telling you, it’s a sickness that is never quite satisfied.

dscn0533smallI had a fabulous time. First we went North for some salmon fishing, then we swung South for some more dinosaur fishing.

I believe what made this trip extra special was the fact we ended up camping with a group of fantastic people. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t expected..By the luck of the camping space claimed, we broke bread, shared a campfire and fished with people I’d never met before this weekend and I loved it.

Honestly, I barely fished (bait fishing and I don’t mesh well~I’m all about the flyfishing) and I still had a wonderful time. I was in the midst of kindred people and that was all the entertainment I needed. I believe I can even claim I made friends that I shall see again. Big Bonus and gives me something to look forward too~

In light of recent blog entries I find it prudent to go on record today and state I hugged during departures yesterday. I can’t claim I was the initiator, and the first one caught me unaware so I’m sure it would rate low on the huggable meter, but the next few I paid attention, hugged back like I meant it (and I really did) and you know what………it wasn’t so bad!

I do believe there is hope for me yet~

I also did some flip video over the weekend. Maybe if I can figure out how to actually work the thing beyond just taking videos, I’ll post up some live action one of these days. This dog can indeed learn new tricks….hugging….video…..I can just see the horizon of possibilities getting bigger and brighter every day.

I Blog to Hear Myself Think

image123I’ve decided the next time someone asks me why I blog, my new improved answer will be, “Based on the human condition regarded as individual impression, blogging is good for the balance. This condition is also known as swimming in solitary shark infested waters that are located deep inside our own minds that employ mind tricks on a daily basis whereas suggesting to an individual they are all alone, perhaps strange or just plain weird. Being a blogger lets you know you are aren’t the only freaky oddity after all and  it illustrates everyone else is just as strange and unique as you think you are. There is comfort in group waters. We even virtual hug”

Then when the persons mouth drops and their lips form a little O, I will spare them the brain strain and say, ” In other words, blogging can be validation of the extraordinary peculiarities I may have.”

If they still go, “HUH?”

I’ll follow up with, ” I blog to hear myself think.”

Would it be hypocritical to say I wish could swoop up all you non-huggers and anti-smoochers and give you a big hug and a kiss for being touch resistant like me? Ya, probably…. but my previous entry gave me strength though numbers. The next time I’m bent over like a broken tree with my ass jutting out into another state, I’ll be thinking of that entry, all the comments and I WILL smile like I really mean it.

And for you authentic huggers who braved all us anti-hugglypoo people by describing how and why you hug, I do believe I’d let you envelope me in a pretzel embrace and show me the bounty of your grace. You could even give me lessons and show me the error of my ways. I promise, unless specifically requested, I won’t run my leg up and down yours or smother you in my breasts~

Now, Kate from the fabulous, Blogging is my only Vice asked in her comment, “How do you feel about close talkers?” When I thought about it, my mind misted up and I realized I could write an entire series just based on social graces that perplex me, scare me or otherwise make me laugh most of the time.

Close proximity talkers get about the same effect from me as swooping huggers get, just the opposite direction. I’ll unhinge at the hips and go the opposite direction with my shoulders leaning back, back and way back. …….basically, it’s ‘here, talk to my birthing hips, they produced two children, they can handle your breath, pores and space invasion’   I do not enjoy a close talker. Nope, not at all, makes my skin itch and the air feels quite dense around me. I call that, start to suffocate and check out time. To be honest, I’d jump into the arms of a hugger before I subjected myself to a 5 inch from my nose talker……………

Lets think about this, group effort moment. I don’t think these things are really pet peeves, but rather the evolution of comfort zones. One of the most fascinating realizations of my previous entry and comments was the mention of several people who had moved and were forced into hug submission by region rather then hugging being a natural reflex…… 

I’d love to know what old Emily Post would have said about a close talker and how she would describe the perfect hug. Google…here I come…..What other social graces give us the heebie jeebies and which ones bring us enjoyment? That is the question rattling around in my thinking blogger self today ~

Behind The Red Door

With Permission ~ By Chris @ www.aninstantoutoftime.blogspot.com

With Permission ~ By Chris @ www.aninstantoutoftime.blogspot.com

Awhile back, I came across this eye stopping picture that was taken by the talented Chris, and posted on his photography blog. An Instant out of Time. 

I was instantly captivated.

There is something about a red door that invites my mind to imagine in provocative possibilities. 

It may be me and my always drifting thoughts, but a red door demands a certain type of pause and ponder. I have instant expectations of the most alluring scenarios.

I’ll envision an illegal poker parlor that’s constantly filled with cigar smoke. The red door could lead to an artist studio with white walls covered in abstract paintings a soul could get lost in. A wall like the picture would compliment a music studio or a VIP entrance into a exclusive piano bar. All places I would desire elusive entrance.

For me, the best dust cover for a red door always involves risqué meetings and potential affairs of the heart. Whether it be a place for a 30 minute argument or a hidden destination for an afternoon tangle, behind door 127……….

A suggestion: Don’t let your mind ruin the potential of a red door with storage rooms and kitchen activities. Lets leave those realities to say, white doors.

Home, can be Overrated

hmI know they say home is where the heart is and to some degree I’ll concede to the roots system.  However, sometimes home looks like same o’ same o’ and away is much more stimulating to the senses. This return home is surrounded with a degree of oh fine, all right! I’ll live without the room service, chocolate on the pillows nightly and still in theater movie options of a hotel room.

While I was gone, I did turn slacker as some of you noticed and lovingly emailed me about ~ Thank you for the nudges and gentle requests. D ~ You get high email marks for the simple, yet, point driven “Are you dead? You haven’t wrote and it’s your fault you got me addicted to regular posts from you. Get on it.” You made me laugh and I offer my humble apologies. I dragged two laptops along with me for the ride and never made a key stroke. I was distracted.

I met some amazing people on the trip and enjoyed mucho socializing time. I enjoyed being in an arena where many smart people are all trying to talk at once. It’s a buffet of information and a circus of words – enhancing and clashing with social electricity all around me. Usually, I’m the one that sits back, nods my head a lot and listens for all I can soak up. I am, the chronic question asker, tis my nature.

I also ate bad buffet and spent one afternoon praying for mercy over the toilet. I didn’t enjoy that part of my trip, nope, not so much. I found comfort in the fact that polling everyone at the event I discovered anyone that ate the breakfast eggs also got sick. Why I would derive twisted comfort from the stomach misery of others is awful to admit.  But the fact I received knowing back pats and compassionate smiles from the other bad egg sufferers made it seem more a group effort rather then individual hell. I’m a firm believer in those who have suffered mutual misery bond on a deeper level……..

Despite my pack whore tendencies, I forgot a hair brush! A hair brush. The most basic of necessities, but by gawd I had 2 laptops, 10 notebooks, 3 books, hand sanitizer, and a partridge in a pear tree. None of which I looked at, picked up or used. Figures.

I feel like weeks and weeks have gone, but I wasn’t exactly a participant in the minutes that clicked by….. Spending half of May in a haze of painkillers didn’t help my cause, then taking off for a week just when I got my brain back has put my entire world into a swirling vortex of hey…..what the hell just happened and was I there? 

Perhaps it’s a good thing to be home after all. Spinning blindly is interesting for a spell, but after awhile even I need to grab a chair and focus once again ~ ~ ~