Tag Archives: thoughts

When The Bell Chimes Mom

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Someone, and I shall not publicly ‘out’ the guilty family members name, made a loud noise this morning. Item number 1 on the Mothers Day request list, sleep blissfully in,  is a no go. Now, if that certain someone would come up with a bell for me, I’d likely forgive, forget and get to jingle jangling to my hearts content.

But, between you and me, I don’t think the bell request is going to fly either. When I mentioned it earlier, every eyebrow in the room raised, heads tilted a bit sideways and I swear I heard a snickering round of laughter when I walked into the next room. Some people (teenagers) have no appreciation for the magical potential of a bell.  What they don’t realize is that in a Mothers world, the word MOM, hollered through a house, is just as effective as a bell and they ring that tactic, daily, year round. Someday they will understand that although it may not jingle and chime, the ring of MOM will be the bell that pulls them around like a kite on the end of a rubber band.

What comes around, goes around right? I remember late in my formidable teen years my own Mother looking me in the eye and saying, “I hope you have a daughter” and in Motherly spell speak, that meant, I curse you with teen daughters and may everything you give me come back times three on you. Scared the crap out of me! From the first day my oldest daughter was born she was in anti-teenage hell training. Don’t believe me? It’s the first lecture I ever gave Shelby, day 1 of her life, and I have witnesses. Pink and blue eyed, swaddled like a butterfly in a cocoon, I explained to her that no funny teenage business would go down because I was already a pro at teenage funny business. Shelby’s 17 now, Kaitlyn, is 14 and so far, so good. Boot Camp, anti-teenage hell, has been successful thus far. Voodoo Dolls work like a charm.

mommmametinyszOn Mothers Day I always realize how lucky I was in the family/Mother lottery. Of course, growing up I had no idea just how lucky I was to claim Momma Anna for my own. In those days, she was just plain old Mom, the one I pulled around on the rubber band and loved. I know I made her life a little (understatement) miserable in my teen years, but thankfully I came around in the end. My Mom was always there for me, in every sense of the definition of Mother, and still is. I know now that I was one of the lucky kids. I understand I am still lucky to have her as such an active and positive role in my life and that of my own daughters..  I say, luck, but perhaps I should just say, luck had nothing to do with it. My Mother worked hard at doing the best she could by me. For that, I am eternally grateful. Love you to the Moon and Back Mom~

I wish all the Mothers out there a beautiful Mothers Day. May you all get a bell for one day, a full plate of rice krispy treats and all the pampering and love you can soak up.

~Rebecca Anne~

Please Pass the Salt

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saLast night the Hubs and I actually watched a movie together. For the record, this is an extremely rare occurrence. We simply do not, in any shape or form, share mutual tastes in movies. We have less then a handful of movies we can tolerate together and one of them happens to be Mr. & Mrs. Smith, with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I believe he likes the movie because it’s packed with manly action, 007 mentality and Angie’s breasts. I enjoy the movie because it’s packed full of marital sarcasms, good humor and Angie’s breasts. (Plus the fact she kicks ass through the whole thing)

One scene started a debate last night that I’m still smiling over. It involved the two Smiths sitting at the dinning table eating dinner. Mr. John Smith says, “Please pass the salt.” Which Mrs. Jane Smith responds, “it’s in the middle of the table.”

I chuckled, out loud, at that part…….

My husband looked at me, clueless and asked, “Whats so funny about that part?”

I smiled, “Don’t worry hun, that was a joke meant for woman across the world.”

Husband, hits the pause on the DVD player, “Whatdoyoumean? I don’t get it, whats so funny about asking for the salt?”

Me, taking a deep breath, it’s always potential quicksand going in to insult a Males mentality. “Robert, you do that sort of thing all the time. I believe most guys do it. We can be sitting an equal distance from something and you’ll ask me to get it for you instead of  just getting it yourself. This inside joke also falls in line with the fact men will stand in the kitchen and yell out, ‘hun, where’s the ???’ and act like you’ve searched for hours when in fact, if you had opened one cupboard door, you would have seen it yourself. Or you’ll ask me to go get things you need for a project, over and over when you should have just gotten all the tools in the first place”

Robert, “Guys don’t do that. I don’t do that.”

Me, sweet kind wife, “Ah, yay ya you do. All the time.”

Robert, “Name one time.”

Viper going in for the kill, “Remember yesterday when you stood in the middle of the bedroom and called out in desperation, ‘Rebecca, I can’t find my shoes!’ and I got up from the office, walked into the bedroom, walked straight over to your side of the bed and pointed to them on the floor? Or….when you were working on the kitchen sink last week, you called out no less then 10 times for me to go get a different tool? Or…..when we were eating dinner the other night you asked me to pass the salad dressing when in fact it was closer to you then me and I said, and I quote, ‘Robert, it’s closer to you then me.’ Or…….”

Robert, recoiling from the venom in truth, “Ok, ok, no more, I’ve heard enough. Lets just watch the movie.”

I’ve cross checked this scenario with many, many woman. Through my extensive research I’ve come to the conclusion that this is indeed a universal Male thing and therefore it should be written into the Handbook for Woman. Situation 1) How to handle the salt being 1/2 the distance between you and your husband. Situation 2) How to handle a husbands feigned attempt to locate a missing item. Situation 3) How to handle a husbands request, without telling him to ‘get it yourself dammit”……

Now….if us ladies could just figure out viable solutions to the situations~

Really? No, really? Blogs to Books…

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Blog To Book

Blog To Book

I have a daily ritual of slinking around the The New York Times online. This habit gets my head out of Idaho and wrapped around the realities of the rest of the world. It also satisfies my shameless pleasures/needs of reading about Arts, Literature, People and Style. In case you weren’t aware of it, Idaho is extremely sheltered. Bio-dome sheltered. I think they still do background checks at the borders in case an out of stater tries to sneak in and pollute the innocence.

During my rounds this morning I came across this article. Public provides the Giggles; Bloggers get the book deal  …..so of course, being the quote ‘blogger’ that I am, I had to read that one. Honestly, I think the cultural I.Q. points I had just built up by reading about William Yeats dropped to a deficit after reading it’s message.

Basically, the short version, if you come up with an idea that is undeniably silly and basic, and people high-5  it, you can become a sensation. This article talks about the popularity and now book deal, of sending one blogger pictures of your dignity stripped pets dressed up in costumes. Name of the blog- Pets Who Want To Kill Themselves……..Another, by the same theory is —This is why you are fat. (Now, I’ve never, not once in 5 years, slanted negative about another blog on the Internet, and I’m not doing that now. I swear. Huge Kudos’s to the authors of those blogs for achieving the elusive sensation known as Internet phenomenon. I imagine I’d laugh and smile if I visited those sites. However, this entry is about blogs to books)

Now, don’t get me wrong. I think animals dressed up like Tinker bell are funny to look at. I enjoy the pictures where cats use bad spelling and grammer captioned with snarky humor. They make me smile, laugh and I’m not saying they don’t do wonders for the mood of the Internet. I’m down with the funny, I swear.

But, honestly. Is this what people are looking for in their books? This is what tickles the fancy of a fickle public and has agents clamoring for more? Publishing houses are actively seeking this sort of  ‘off the cuff’ and entirely irrelevant material to offer up for book consumption? Really? After I read the article my heart swelled a bit and my mind raced to all the amazing writers of blogs out there….the ones that have also wrote potential books via blood, sweat and tears. Those people, who send queries and partials out, week after week, just praying for one person to take an interest. Those writers/bloggers have been officially trumped by a bacon wrapped Twinkie. There’s something wrong with that picture.

I understand some people may think I’m comparing apples to oranges here. Humor picture books do have their merit. And I suppose there is always room next to the toilet for that sort of  literature book. Maybe I’m a book snob and didn’t even realize it because next to my toilet you’ll find Shakespeare, e.e. cummings and a suduko book. (Sneaky way of introducing the daughters to good reads) The way I see it, one can broaden their mind just about anywhere~~

Maybe what I’m saddened about, is the fact I run across so many incrediable blogs out there. Blogs written, with words, that could easily make the leap from blog to book and sadly they aren’t on the radar. I think when I’m done with this, I need to go do some research. Surely there are blogs that have moved to book based purely on the writing content and I’m just out of the loop. Does anyone know of any? If there are, I’d happily toss good money to the cause.

#BlogFind: Want Humor? With Words?  Nydia is a witty, entertaining writer, I already knew that, but holy hell, her entry about “When Trains Go Bad” had my sides hurting I was laughing so hard. So if you visit, that entry is a MUST read!! Caution: Don’t drink anything while reading about her brush with death~Polymer Clay Snails