Tag Archives: Mom

A case of the missing Betty Poppins

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~Betty~

~Betty~

Shhhh…….can you hear that? It’s the sound of relief or tears from  many, many Mommies sending their kiddos back to school today.

I happen to fall into the relief category. That’s right, I’m one of those Moms. It has nothing to do with my daughters and everything to do with me. The older I get, the more I need the predictable schedule of their school hours. I need that space of time between 7:45 a.m and 3:00 p.m. that is all about focus and getting things accomplished.

Being a summer slacker looses it’s luster after awhile and I’ve been feeling the need for an actual schedule creeping around the edges this last month. Thats utterly boring to admit so I shall blame age, responsibility, life and obligations for losing my carefree spirit.  Damn adulthood anyway.

A week, or so ago (without schedule time tends to fold into and over itself), I was chatting with one of my daughters about Motherhood. She would like 4 children. A Boy first and then any combination of boy or girl after that until she fulfils the desired 2 boy-2 girl quota. As a Grandma to be, I’m all over those numbers. The more the merrier I say.

~Poppins~

~Poppins~

Daughter:  I’m not sure what type of Mother I’ll be.

Me:  Well, you’ll either be a bit like I’ve been or because of the type of Mom I’ve been, you’ll run to the other side and be a Betty Poppins Mom. 

Daughter: What Is A Betty Poppins Mom??

Me: Oh you know, the sort of Mom I’ve never been. 1/2 Betty Crocker and 1/2 Mary Poppins. Cupcakes and a spoon full of sugar and all that.

Daughter: Ohhhhhh–well, ummm 

Me: Darlin, we both know I’ve never been one of those Moms and I’m Mom enough to admit it. Hopefully it isn’t a genetic thing so maybe your kids will have a chance.

Daughter: Maybe!

Me: You should know though, I totally plan on being the Anna Osbourne Grandma. And if you’re wondering what that is I’ll tell you. It’s 1/2 my Mother Anna and her amazing Grandma skills, plus 1/2 Sharon Osbourne and her rockin wacky ways. You’re kids are gonna love me as a Grandma so make sure and have lots and lots of them.

The Bell That Chimes “Your Turn”

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alarmIn three hours time a bell will chime, ding, buzz, scream, announce and generally warn the valley that I live in—– school, is out for the summer. 

When this breath sucking moment occurs, ding ding ding style,  a range of emotions will flutter like a virus though thousands and thousands. I’m fairly certain the entire dynamic of life as we know it will shift instantaneously and the earth will wobble on it’s axis. Ding.

I’m not so old that I don’t remember ~For kids, when they hear that bell announce their jail cell has been unlocked and the key lost until September, there will be tears of joy. They will feel relief that they made it through another grade in school and walk out those school doors with a mind full of positive expectations for their precious summer days. They will be punch drunk on glorious freedom.

I am old enough to know what this means as a Mom ~ Terror comes to mind. Entertainment schedules and daily movement throughout the house. It means extra snacks in the cupboards and a revolving friend door that never hits anyone in the ass. It means mid-week sleepovers and a whole lotta frozen popsicles. It also bring these questions and statements….. the words that provoke mind numbing dead air space……….

“Mom, what can we do today?”
“Mom, there’s nothing to do……….”
“Mom, can we…..”
“Mom, can thing 1, thing 2, thing 3, thing 4 and thing 5 all spend the night?”
Mom, there’s nothing good to eat…”
“Mom, will you give us a ride….”

“Mom, are you there? Whats wrong with you? Your eyes are scaring me, they look blank and glazed over and why are you strumming your lower lip like that?”

I know some parents, the good ones, look at summer as a beautiful time to have their kids in the homestead full time. Those parents probably bake toll house cookies and cupcakes on a daily basis. They probably have a nicely constructed calendar already filled to the brim with activities and highlights to occupy their time. I admire that and them. Honestly.

I just happen to fall in line with the parents who protest and cry (read, sob pathetically) with signs on the last day of school. We can be heard chanting a full year of school would be safe and beneficial for all parties involved.  The teachers position themselves from their art covered windows and throw spit wads down at us sad parental figures. We parents get zero sympathy points from them……..(love you teachers for the 9 months you do bestow upon us)

So, in a few hours the bell will chime freedom for some and panic for others. I will paint a brilliant smile on my face and wing it for the next 3 months. I will hope for the best ( a quick arrival of September) and mentally prepare myself for the invasion.

I can do this. For the other parents who aren’t all, “Oh wee, this will be fun” I know exactly what you are thinking……..For the good parents, yes, well, please don’t tell my kids what you’re up too, that’s bad for business!

When The Bell Chimes Mom

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Someone, and I shall not publicly ‘out’ the guilty family members name, made a loud noise this morning. Item number 1 on the Mothers Day request list, sleep blissfully in,  is a no go. Now, if that certain someone would come up with a bell for me, I’d likely forgive, forget and get to jingle jangling to my hearts content.

But, between you and me, I don’t think the bell request is going to fly either. When I mentioned it earlier, every eyebrow in the room raised, heads tilted a bit sideways and I swear I heard a snickering round of laughter when I walked into the next room. Some people (teenagers) have no appreciation for the magical potential of a bell.  What they don’t realize is that in a Mothers world, the word MOM, hollered through a house, is just as effective as a bell and they ring that tactic, daily, year round. Someday they will understand that although it may not jingle and chime, the ring of MOM will be the bell that pulls them around like a kite on the end of a rubber band.

What comes around, goes around right? I remember late in my formidable teen years my own Mother looking me in the eye and saying, “I hope you have a daughter” and in Motherly spell speak, that meant, I curse you with teen daughters and may everything you give me come back times three on you. Scared the crap out of me! From the first day my oldest daughter was born she was in anti-teenage hell training. Don’t believe me? It’s the first lecture I ever gave Shelby, day 1 of her life, and I have witnesses. Pink and blue eyed, swaddled like a butterfly in a cocoon, I explained to her that no funny teenage business would go down because I was already a pro at teenage funny business. Shelby’s 17 now, Kaitlyn, is 14 and so far, so good. Boot Camp, anti-teenage hell, has been successful thus far. Voodoo Dolls work like a charm.

mommmametinyszOn Mothers Day I always realize how lucky I was in the family/Mother lottery. Of course, growing up I had no idea just how lucky I was to claim Momma Anna for my own. In those days, she was just plain old Mom, the one I pulled around on the rubber band and loved. I know I made her life a little (understatement) miserable in my teen years, but thankfully I came around in the end. My Mom was always there for me, in every sense of the definition of Mother, and still is. I know now that I was one of the lucky kids. I understand I am still lucky to have her as such an active and positive role in my life and that of my own daughters..  I say, luck, but perhaps I should just say, luck had nothing to do with it. My Mother worked hard at doing the best she could by me. For that, I am eternally grateful. Love you to the Moon and Back Mom~

I wish all the Mothers out there a beautiful Mothers Day. May you all get a bell for one day, a full plate of rice krispy treats and all the pampering and love you can soak up.

~Rebecca Anne~