Tag Archives: life

Summer Slacker

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Kaitlyn and a camera shy Bandon, just a day on the River

~Summer Slacker in training...Kaitlyn and a camera shy Bandon, just a day up Camping~

For those of you that follow me on Twitter (as I’m sure everyone twitters these days, right?) or those who are my friends on Facebook (what?!! you haven’t friended me on Facebook yet? WTH?) you know that I snuck out of town again last week. I couldn’t help myself, it’s the allure of Mountains and the seasonal salmon run……

My current ‘at home status’ is simply a temporary pit-stop. I’m leaving again this Wednesday. It’s the fourth of July weekend ~ I must go, no choice,  no apologies, adios style!

It would be un-American not to go enjoy the weekend, right? As for leaving on Wednesday, well that’s just a preemptive maneuver to avoid the weekend crowd and claim a banner camping space. It’s a dog eat dog world on a holiday weekend, fight for your bone, king of the hill, claim your territory flag quickly sort of deal. Early departure, well, I’m just smart like that~

This is the first summer since I started blogging (as some of you can vouch) that I’ve tried to touch base in between my frequent departures. In the past I just took off, traveled, did my thang and usually around September I’d pop in for a, hey I’m alive, blog post. It feels a bit strange this year to keep admitting  just how often I take off for days at a time. If someone was watching my action I imagine it would hurt the neck, a bit like a tennis match, back and forth, to and fro, there she is and there she goes……

Just a regular morning in the mountains

Just a regular morning in the mountains

Welcome to my world~

I took this picture a week ago on a trip. It should illustrate why I’m on the run all through the summer. There are so many things to see, so many moments to etch into my memory and simply put….there is so much beauty out there I can’t bear to risk missing any of it.

 I’m not sure if that desire makes me a true slacker or if I’ve just constructed a life that allows for personal exploration and frequent adventures.  Movement outside of my hometown is one of the priorities in my life that brings me true joy. I understand every individuals definition of joy is different, but I can put out there that I truly hope other people make room for joy in their world as well…..frequently.

I wish I may, I wish I might……

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Be gone again, this very night.

Traveling and exploring. It’s like a drug. A sensational… just try it once or twice and you’re hooked, sort of addiction. I’ve only been home since late last night and the walls of my house feel like a torture chamber of implied stationary boredom. In other words, I want the hell out of here, and pronto. Another emergency trip of the soul saving….. travel variety may be in order in the next few days. I’m telling you, it’s a sickness that is never quite satisfied.

dscn0533smallI had a fabulous time. First we went North for some salmon fishing, then we swung South for some more dinosaur fishing.

I believe what made this trip extra special was the fact we ended up camping with a group of fantastic people. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t expected..By the luck of the camping space claimed, we broke bread, shared a campfire and fished with people I’d never met before this weekend and I loved it.

Honestly, I barely fished (bait fishing and I don’t mesh well~I’m all about the flyfishing) and I still had a wonderful time. I was in the midst of kindred people and that was all the entertainment I needed. I believe I can even claim I made friends that I shall see again. Big Bonus and gives me something to look forward too~

In light of recent blog entries I find it prudent to go on record today and state I hugged during departures yesterday. I can’t claim I was the initiator, and the first one caught me unaware so I’m sure it would rate low on the huggable meter, but the next few I paid attention, hugged back like I meant it (and I really did) and you know what………it wasn’t so bad!

I do believe there is hope for me yet~

I also did some flip video over the weekend. Maybe if I can figure out how to actually work the thing beyond just taking videos, I’ll post up some live action one of these days. This dog can indeed learn new tricks….hugging….video…..I can just see the horizon of possibilities getting bigger and brighter every day.

The Bell That Chimes “Your Turn”

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alarmIn three hours time a bell will chime, ding, buzz, scream, announce and generally warn the valley that I live in—– school, is out for the summer. 

When this breath sucking moment occurs, ding ding ding style,  a range of emotions will flutter like a virus though thousands and thousands. I’m fairly certain the entire dynamic of life as we know it will shift instantaneously and the earth will wobble on it’s axis. Ding.

I’m not so old that I don’t remember ~For kids, when they hear that bell announce their jail cell has been unlocked and the key lost until September, there will be tears of joy. They will feel relief that they made it through another grade in school and walk out those school doors with a mind full of positive expectations for their precious summer days. They will be punch drunk on glorious freedom.

I am old enough to know what this means as a Mom ~ Terror comes to mind. Entertainment schedules and daily movement throughout the house. It means extra snacks in the cupboards and a revolving friend door that never hits anyone in the ass. It means mid-week sleepovers and a whole lotta frozen popsicles. It also bring these questions and statements….. the words that provoke mind numbing dead air space……….

“Mom, what can we do today?”
“Mom, there’s nothing to do……….”
“Mom, can we…..”
“Mom, can thing 1, thing 2, thing 3, thing 4 and thing 5 all spend the night?”
Mom, there’s nothing good to eat…”
“Mom, will you give us a ride….”

“Mom, are you there? Whats wrong with you? Your eyes are scaring me, they look blank and glazed over and why are you strumming your lower lip like that?”

I know some parents, the good ones, look at summer as a beautiful time to have their kids in the homestead full time. Those parents probably bake toll house cookies and cupcakes on a daily basis. They probably have a nicely constructed calendar already filled to the brim with activities and highlights to occupy their time. I admire that and them. Honestly.

I just happen to fall in line with the parents who protest and cry (read, sob pathetically) with signs on the last day of school. We can be heard chanting a full year of school would be safe and beneficial for all parties involved.  The teachers position themselves from their art covered windows and throw spit wads down at us sad parental figures. We parents get zero sympathy points from them……..(love you teachers for the 9 months you do bestow upon us)

So, in a few hours the bell will chime freedom for some and panic for others. I will paint a brilliant smile on my face and wing it for the next 3 months. I will hope for the best ( a quick arrival of September) and mentally prepare myself for the invasion.

I can do this. For the other parents who aren’t all, “Oh wee, this will be fun” I know exactly what you are thinking……..For the good parents, yes, well, please don’t tell my kids what you’re up too, that’s bad for business!

Good week, Good times

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~I have survived the week. I have survived this mornings procedure~

I’d like to thank the makers of Vicodin and Valium for making this week long experience more bearable.Penicillin, I blame you for the vomiting and added misery to my week. Surely something as glorious as a painkiller could not have been the culprit.

I’d like to thank Doctor W. for tolerating my phobias, making jokes, and not making me look at things that are vile and evil like tools, gadgets and drills. I also thank him for not explaining every little thing that is going on and just letting me remain blissfully in lala land.

I’d like to thank the maker of TVs on the ceiling and headphones.

I’d like to thank my sister Sarah, for taking my pre-drugged ass to the dentist, holding my sweaty hand and taking pictures of my torture experience. I’m sorry I flipped you off when you started making Lamaze noises. This sort of pain is completely different than childbirth and it’s hard to he he ho ho heee heee when the dentist is lancing you with a needle inside your mouth. Love ya anyway~

Only a dentist could smile this wide, this beautiful and look so happy at a dentist office. As for me, ya, I’m high from the 4 carefully timed out Valiums I took prior to showing up. No makeup and honestly, I can’t remember if I even combed my hair this morning.  By this picture moment, I was floating on don’t care about a damn thing cloud.

Prior To Procedure, hence the half smile by me

~Prior To Procedure. Completely stoned, beyond exhausted and ready for Mercy. Not looking my best~

Now. Time to swallow some more happy pills before I can feel my face again and go back to bed.
Good week I tell ya, good times…….

Terra Incognita

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mpI often spend my time between becoming  lost or figuring out how in the hell I got painfully lost. Lost is the swing space between feeling confidant about direction one day and realizing I’m in uncharted territory the next. Sometimes, there is nothing more thrilling and provoking than not knowing. Whether it be the answer to a question or what is around the next corner in my road. 

Lost doesn’t get the credit it deserves. I believe lost has gotten a bad rap on the whole. Yes, we have lost in the wilderness during a blizzard, where life and death square off. In that capacity, lost is dangerous. I have felt that overwhelming panic before……

But what of lost in a place you know every street sign, every corner, every room. We don’t need to be physically lost to lose sight of our inner purpose and desires.  Everyday I mitigate between ordinary motions, predictable routes and the grandiose of unknown. What am I, but an explorer of my own path in life?

A few souls knew, but most didn’t, that I was extremely lost at the beginning of this year. Sitting in a room of familiar and predictable I was floundering and flailing. That sense of lost was painful and led me down the path to my own Lavender Black. The place inside me of least resistance. It took time, it required talking and communication within myself and the people around me, but I did emerge from that place with a new map in hand, a new direction and full of hope.

I still reside in a swamp of lost. Work that I used to enjoy has become banal and tedious. Beyond money, I can no longer identify purpose and enjoyment in what I feel forced to do now. Time for a radical change. I cannot, will not, be the person who worked away a life doing something that became boring and lacked a sense of achievement. For now, as I wander around, I’ll continue to do my work despite the sense of lost, and actively seek new waterways.

I believe I’ve come to understand that we all have intricate maps within ourselves. Secret roadways and quiet byways that are marked by choices and experience. The only way to chart a new destination is to let ourselves become lost once in awhile. Explorers didn’t know where exactly they would end up, but used general assumptions and hopeful intentions as their compass. I may not know where I am going, but I see ample space marked Terra Incognita on my map. It’s full of opportunity, mystery and possibilities.

Perhaps a healthy dose of lost keeps a mind less stagnant and all of us more aware of our surroundings. Maybe it’s just the right amount of uncomfortable that keeps us charting new destinations. Ultimately, lost has many versions, but unless you are in the middle of a blizzard, one should be able to keep moving, keep changing directions and discovering new landscapes……….

Just my thoughts and admissions for the day~
Rebecca Anne