Tag Archives: hugging

Huggable with an armful of Niche Sympathy

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huggingSometimes those who blog inadvertently become ‘authorities’ on certain subject matters by what they write. Now moi, me, El Rebeccason, who writes random nonsense and who is lacking a niche, blogging identity and official technorati category is the least likely person to earn authority on anything. Normally, I’m just not that kind of girl.

However, it seems my wee little blog, one entry only, is rising to the top of google search terms about hugging and I’m not sure what to do with the hug responsibility.

Lets look at the inquires ~As a google refresher, the words in pink are the verbatim search term………

Pullman, Washington arrived from google.com on “When did huggable become social grace? « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for is it good to be a huggable man?.
Arlington, Texas arrived from google.com on “When did huggable become social grace? « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for I rarely hug..
Toronto, Ontario arrived from google.com on “When did huggable become social grace? « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for hugs and pressing cheeks.
Waynesboro, Tennessee arrived from google.com on “When did huggable become social grace? « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for do like when men hug you or is it to personal breasts.
Staten Island, New York arrived from google.com on “When did huggable become social grace? « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for ass stuck out hug.
Santee, California arrived from google.com on “When did huggable become social grace? « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for man who asks for a hug and then is cold and stiff.
Pearl River, New York arrived from google.com on “When did huggable become social grace? « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for breasts pressing hugs.
And so on and so on and so on………………………..

I should write a book and become a leading authority on the art of hugging. I know what it feels like when you would rather sprint to the nearest dentist (and god knows I hate the dentist) than get trapped by snake arms, or I could publish an e-book about how not to stick ones ass out when ensnared in anothers arms. I’ve lived on both sides of the hugging coin since I was first a hug resistant cringer and second I’ve been in ‘learn to embrace the hug’ training.

When I look at the search terms my heart really does go out to people. I realize those that hug naturally probably have no idea what the big deal is because they can swoop in like hug angels and embrace anything with a pulse and radiate love and emotions while smiling a mile wide. Some of us weren’t born with the hug skills, we freeze up like a glacier ice pack. We actually have to consciously work at it…

It seems people used to work on their hand shake. Whats wrong with the hand shake? I’m good with those, no issues, no fears, nice firm grasp, great eye contact, friendly smile, and respectable shake. If I had a vote in this matter I would absolutely make hand shaking the renewed sensation and hugging so last year, but I don’t and it does appear hugging is the new social rage. Time to embrace the uncomfortable ye huggophobics.

As for those examples of search terms, it’s future google travelers lucky day, I’ll answer those questions because I am a proxy authority, one who has walked the barren lands of hug dodging and arm ducking.
1) is it good to be a huggable man?. YES! Specifically with your lady and children. As for everyone else, only a few men can carry the full time huggable persona without becoming a touchy feelie leech. Don’t cross the fine line ~
2) I rarely hug. No one should hold this against you. Hugging, although a social rave, is not mandatory~
3) hugs and pressing cheeks Both? I’d say, only by accident or with someone I’d take a bullet for ~
4) do like when men hug you or is it to personal breasts This sentence reads like you tossed in the breast potential as an afterthought. I think it depends on the huggable man. Some men convey comfort while others seem to delight in the zero space suffocation style. Simply put, if he grabs your ass, smack em, he’ll love it ~
5) ass stuck out hug HA!! SEE!! I’m not the only one. You have come to sympathetic lands here dear wayward traveler. If you want to avoid the ass stuck out to the West or East coast maneuver, you must remain upright. No unhinging at the hips. It’s very uncomfortable and allows for meshed bodies, but if you can remain locked at the hips, I’m told the quality of the hug goes up tenfold. Deep air intake helps ~
6)man who asks for a hug and then is cold and stiff. Don’t hold it against him! He could be locked at the hips like the prior example, he could be attempting not to come across as a leech, he could be untrained in the art of hugging (ok maybe he doesn’t like you, but try the prior justifications out first)~
7) breasts pressing hugs Unavoidable without the ass stuck out maneuver which I hear deducts major huggability points off your hug quality rating. I’ve learned to just go with it, I suggest, go with the flow, let them press. Unlocking your shoulders and hunching them forward helps a bit on the breast protection front. If the hug is for another lady she won’t care, if it’s for a guy, it just might be the highlight of his day. Who knows….

(((((This Hug is for You)))))

I Blog to Hear Myself Think

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image123I’ve decided the next time someone asks me why I blog, my new improved answer will be, “Based on the human condition regarded as individual impression, blogging is good for the balance. This condition is also known as swimming in solitary shark infested waters that are located deep inside our own minds that employ mind tricks on a daily basis whereas suggesting to an individual they are all alone, perhaps strange or just plain weird. Being a blogger lets you know you are aren’t the only freaky oddity after all and  it illustrates everyone else is just as strange and unique as you think you are. There is comfort in group waters. We even virtual hug”

Then when the persons mouth drops and their lips form a little O, I will spare them the brain strain and say, ” In other words, blogging can be validation of the extraordinary peculiarities I may have.”

If they still go, “HUH?”

I’ll follow up with, ” I blog to hear myself think.”

Would it be hypocritical to say I wish could swoop up all you non-huggers and anti-smoochers and give you a big hug and a kiss for being touch resistant like me? Ya, probably…. but my previous entry gave me strength though numbers. The next time I’m bent over like a broken tree with my ass jutting out into another state, I’ll be thinking of that entry, all the comments and I WILL smile like I really mean it.

And for you authentic huggers who braved all us anti-hugglypoo people by describing how and why you hug, I do believe I’d let you envelope me in a pretzel embrace and show me the bounty of your grace. You could even give me lessons and show me the error of my ways. I promise, unless specifically requested, I won’t run my leg up and down yours or smother you in my breasts~

Now, Kate from the fabulous, Blogging is my only Vice asked in her comment, “How do you feel about close talkers?” When I thought about it, my mind misted up and I realized I could write an entire series just based on social graces that perplex me, scare me or otherwise make me laugh most of the time.

Close proximity talkers get about the same effect from me as swooping huggers get, just the opposite direction. I’ll unhinge at the hips and go the opposite direction with my shoulders leaning back, back and way back. …….basically, it’s ‘here, talk to my birthing hips, they produced two children, they can handle your breath, pores and space invasion’   I do not enjoy a close talker. Nope, not at all, makes my skin itch and the air feels quite dense around me. I call that, start to suffocate and check out time. To be honest, I’d jump into the arms of a hugger before I subjected myself to a 5 inch from my nose talker……………

Lets think about this, group effort moment. I don’t think these things are really pet peeves, but rather the evolution of comfort zones. One of the most fascinating realizations of my previous entry and comments was the mention of several people who had moved and were forced into hug submission by region rather then hugging being a natural reflex…… 

I’d love to know what old Emily Post would have said about a close talker and how she would describe the perfect hug. Google…here I come…..What other social graces give us the heebie jeebies and which ones bring us enjoyment? That is the question rattling around in my thinking blogger self today ~

When did huggable become social grace?

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This is alittle close for comfort

This is alittle close for comfort

So, something has been bothering me. This issue, although non-life threatening, changing, and basically insignificant…..is like a piece of sand floating around on my eyeball and despite my valiant effort to ignore it, it’s still annoying me. So, I’ll just slander myself here and call it good.

It wasn’t the first time and I doubt it will be the last time, but after the last five day social fiesta, I was once again accused of dropping the hug etiquette ball. Basically, I am a non-hugger. Or maybe that should read……Rebecca is often forced to hug, but evidence suggests she fails (flails) miserably at it.

Robert: “You are so funny to watch when people are hugging you. You really suck at hug etiquette.”
Rebecca: “What do you mean?!! I hug. I hugged no less then 10 people tonight.”
Robert: “Ya, ok, you ‘hugged’ if you call it that. But you’re stiff as a board and you are the only person I’ve ever seen put 3 feet of space between you and the person you’re hugging. You may not realize it, but it makes you look cold and uncaring.”
Rebecca;”Damnit, I’m not a cold and uncaring person just because I don’t melt my body with someone I barely know. I care! I’m kind!”
Robert: ” I know that, but you can be confusing to people because you give off mixed signals. You’ll talk to them, make them feel all warm and cozy, but when they go to give you a hug you practically run from them.”
Rebecca: ” I hug you and the girls good enough, don’t I?”
Robert: “Yes you do, you hug us like you mean it, but we are the exception. Everyone else gets the tree that bends in the middle for a quick shoulder to shoulder touch”
Rebecca: “Great, I’m an unhuggable tree. Anything else you’d like to add?”
Robert: ” Your ass does look cute when you stick it way out and away from everyone.”
Rebecca: ” Good to know.”

I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing wrong. I know my ass does tend to stick out because usually everyone is shorter then me and I’m bending over to recieve the impending hug. Perhaps this is evasive action, but I unhinge at the hip, bend way over and out thereby touching my shoulders to their shoulders. This I believe creates that 3 feet of space Robert was referring to and I’ll usually throw in a one handed back pat. I’ll pat twice if I’m feeling gracious, three times if I’m feeling rambunctious, and quickly retreat back to an upright position. Not good enough? Not feeling some care from that?

Would it be better if I stood up straight, wrapped my arms around the person in earnest, pulled them in flush to my body? I could really show some love by pressing their nose into the valley between my breasts and hummmm softly. Would that imply caring or simply smother a person into a cozy zone?

I’d really like to fix this failing social grace of mine. Maybe the next time a man that is of equal size or taller hugs me (if he’s shorter he would probably enjoy the above paragraph), I could wrap a leg behind theirs and slide it up and down for some extra lovin. I could probably throw in an ass grab and press my boobs against their chest to convey a memorable ‘nice to meet you sir’ gesture.

When it comes down to it, I admit, I’m not a touchy feelie sort of person. I do happen to enjoy people very much, but that doesn’t mean I need a soul pressing hug to validate my internal emotions.

What happened to the handshake in a social setting? Is a handshake so cold and impersonal that it’s currently off the social menu? Why is connection signed, sealed and delivered through physical contact, i.e. an authentic, zero personal space, hug? These questions are the social sand in my eye.

And for you honest huggers out there. I admire your ability to press solidly, pat soundly and impart your physical impression on others. Just don’t hold my 3 feet against me. K?