99 plus 1

This entry marks my 100th blog entry for Provocation of Mine (d) Oh, Hello CHA-CHING ~
Of course the number does not reflect the true number of blog entries I’ve flung out over the years since I have moved locations a few times, but still…..100….in this blog…..in under a years time.

I’m on freakin fire……….

A few weeks ago I was in the living room when I could hear laughter coming from the office. It rang out, then went quiet, then I’d hear a chuckle, then quiet, repeat about five times before I hauled myself up and went in to see if my husband was watching puppet pornos or something worse on his computer.

Low and behold I busted him big time. Reading this site. The visual evidence, Provocation on his screen, and I took a deep breath and inquired, “So…..I heard you laughing, does that mean everything is all good? I mean, before you say anything, the way I see it, I refrain brilliantly from using the millions of moments I could use you for easy blog fodder” and he responded, “Everything is fine, I’m enjoying this. Not only do I like how you write, but I’m also reading the comments and there is some pretty hilarious stuff in here from the readers.”

~Hilarious is right~
In honor of my 100th post I present my version of a comment snapshot blitz.
Here are some excerpts from over 1500 comments, taken out of context, mini-highlights, randomly chosen for my amusement purposes.

• Come to think of it, I’m a diet soda whore
• Multiple husbands would have to be stabled like horses and each one taken out for exercise individually
• Multiple wives means multiple PMS. No way!!
• The favorite search term I’ve ever seen used to reach my site was one for “Hot Amish Sex.” I pictured a lonely, old Mennonite with a butter-churning fetish
• Once you go Blackberry, you never go back(berry)
• I don’t see the humour in this. My wife would tell you that I am nothing like that. No, you can’t have her cell number
• I am about to throttle my brain because I’m refraining from not touching the double entente land mines you placed in the first paragraphs
• My mind went right there. Not sure what that says about the company you’re keeping
• You, missy, are a bad influence
• In my mind I am picturing you chanting “The power of Christ compels you, The power of Christ compels YOU!”
• You scare me, Ms. Might Kick A Man In The Package for amusement purposes
• A few crossed wires and he might have gotten a phone sex line, which, I must say, has not been the same since they outsourced it to India
• I’d tell you all sorts of moral strictures about parenting and all, but who really wants to hear that from a childless Atheist who listens to Marilyn Manson all the time?
• I am totally afraid to click on that link…..you gals are scaring me!
• Hooray for boobies!!!!
• You ain’t nuffin but a hound dog
  provocin’ me all the time
  You ain’t nuffin but a hound dog
  From a place called op de zoom
  You can walkabout all you want
  But your ass will never be mine.

Pure Poetry in my humble opinion.  Thank you brilliant contributors.