I often spend my time between becoming  lost or figuring out how in the hell I got painfully lost. Lost is the swing space between feeling confidant about direction one day and realizing I’m in uncharted territory the next. Sometimes, there is nothing more thrilling and provoking than not knowing. Whether it be the answer to a question or what is around the next corner in my road. 

Lost doesn’t get the credit it deserves. I believe lost has gotten a bad rap on the whole. Yes, we have lost in the wilderness during a blizzard, where life and death square off. In that capacity, lost is dangerous. I have felt that overwhelming panic before……

But what of lost in a place you know every street sign, every corner, every room. We don’t need to be physically lost to lose sight of our inner purpose and desires.  Everyday I mitigate between ordinary motions, predictable routes and the grandiose of unknown. What am I, but an explorer of my own path in life?

A few souls knew, but most didn’t, that I was extremely lost at the beginning of this year. Sitting in a room of familiar and predictable I was floundering and flailing. That sense of lost was painful and led me down the path to my own Lavender Black. The place inside me of least resistance. It took time, it required talking and communication within myself and the people around me, but I did emerge from that place with a new map in hand, a new direction and full of hope.

I still reside in a swamp of lost. Work that I used to enjoy has become banal and tedious. Beyond money, I can no longer identify purpose and enjoyment in what I feel forced to do now. Time for a radical change. I cannot, will not, be the person who worked away a life doing something that became boring and lacked a sense of achievement. For now, as I wander around, I’ll continue to do my work despite the sense of lost, and actively seek new waterways.

I believe I’ve come to understand that we all have intricate maps within ourselves. Secret roadways and quiet byways that are marked by choices and experience. The only way to chart a new destination is to let ourselves become lost once in awhile. Explorers didn’t know where exactly they would end up, but used general assumptions and hopeful intentions as their compass. I may not know where I am going, but I see ample space marked Terra Incognita on my map. It’s full of opportunity, mystery and possibilities.

Perhaps a healthy dose of lost keeps a mind less stagnant and all of us more aware of our surroundings. Maybe it’s just the right amount of uncomfortable that keeps us charting new destinations. Ultimately, lost has many versions, but unless you are in the middle of a blizzard, one should be able to keep moving, keep changing directions and discovering new landscapes……….

Just my thoughts and admissions for the day~
Rebecca Anne

But I am willing to share with the rest of you, I am gracious like that. 

May is by far, my favorite month of the year. The weather is typically the perfect blend of Mother Natures finest. Everything is green again and the flowers are wide eyed~~ begging for special attention. May also gives us Mothers day, which in my humble opinion should have been a week long celebration, or at minimum, a two day fiesta. Although this may thow in a slight sense of personal bias, this month also contains my birthday. So, whats not to love about May??

~Ya got nothing, right? No way to dispute May’s glory and beauty….. That’s because it’s as close to month perfection as one can get~

So two things. First up, I’m doing a guest writing stint today over at Heathers blog, Singing with my Heart She is living life up on vacation in Arizona and trusted a few of us to run amok with her blog while she was gone. As in, she trusted me with the keys (password) to her blog and I’ve got free rein. I could post porno for my entry and change all her widgets to I love Barbara Streisand pictures. I could change her header to a big old ” I Heart Rebecca Anne” and she’d be blissfully unaware while soaking up the sun, drinking a margarita by the pool. Oh the fun I must resist! Since I’m so responsible, and kind, and full of restraint, instead of porno, I’m giving her, she who is turning 25 this month, a little time honored wisdom. Feel free to visit over there to see what I’ve written, perhaps add your age old advice (and to make sure I didn’t loose control of my will power)…………..

Second, I haven’t done a #Blogfind for awhile, so here’s a must visit site~

#Blogfind: Everyday there is a new profile picture, but don’t let the rotation of characters fool you. Behind all the faces, I’m under belief there is one talented writer driving the car. He’s hilarious and full of quirky perspective. He has a dog born of Satan and overall delights me everyday with his unpredictability and witty outlooks. Plus, if you leave him a comment (and I encourage you to do so) You can take pleasure in knowing you’ve sent a man diving for his iPhone, potentially knocking over small children and elderly in the process. We shall call that, comment power from afar. Go, enjoy….Rants, musings & albatross.

Connection

This weekend I had the privilege of meeting someone that technically came from the “Internet”. When I think of a meeting that stemmed from computer origins, it’s like someone found the magical potion to mysteriously crawl from their screen and poof, they are real, alive, in full color and in 3-D outline.

I can’t claim I was part of the planning and co-ordinating of this meeting. I can’t even claim to have known this person prior to our first handshake. Husband gets the credit for sifting @AprilBraswell out of the basket of twitter.

It went a bit like this, “Hey, wife, Friday night can we meet April from twitter?”

Me, eyebrows pinched, “Ahhh ok, do I know this April? Hell, do you even know her?”

Hubby, “Oh sure, we tweet, she’s an incredible relationship specialist.”

Me, eye’s wide, “Is there something I should know, is this an ambush? I swear I only whined a little bit about you tossing Provocation into the pit of fire!”

Hubby, chuckling, “No hun, I didn’t hire her, she’ll be in town for the weekend, for a class, and thought it would be fun to meet up for dinner. Promise.”

Once I was positive it wasn’t some sort of intervention, I agreed.

I’m so glad I did! We laughed, we talked, we ate, we went back to her hotel lobby and sat by the fireplace eating cookies and drinking coffee till late in the night. April was smart, humorous, always smiling and the time went by in a flash. I had a fantastic time and can’t wait to meet up with her again in the future. I made a new friend and that’s something I hadn’t put on the agenda for the weekend.

Beyond having a beautiful time, I learned something from April I admit previously wasn’t even on my radar. She explained why she enjoys meeting up with people from the Internet whenever she travels. Something I’ve never attempted to do. Not once in all my travels…….I realized I’ve been missing out on the potential to bridge the space between this computer screen and all the wonderful people I connect with via written words. I’ve been ignoring the basic principles of meeting someone face to face, shaking their hand…..boisterous laughter and in-depth conversations. I don’t even have a pat reason why I’ve neglected the possibility and opportunities all these years.

But I aim to change that. So, who wants to do coffee and which State do I need to put in my travel plans? (grin)

Honestly, I do think I’ve been missing the connection boat. In a way I think meeting people from the Internet carried an air of taboo around it, back in the days……..but has that changed? Has the dynamics evolved into something less spooky without my knowledge? To further satisfy my curiosity, how many of you that are still reading this have met someone from the ‘Internet’ ? How did it go? ….Or, if you haven’t at this point in time, would you be brave enough to test those choppy waters? Go out on a limb? Throw caution to the wind? Shake a real live hand……..

Inquiring mind (s) wants to know~~

I shall deem this, Follow Up Tuesday. I would have waited for Friday because Follow up Friday sounds swanky, however, it’s 10:52 a.m and I’m desperate for something to write, as in, today. Bear with me, it’s the best I could come up with (good lord, I have 9 more days, and words are getting thin)

I found the book Waiter Rant online thanks to the kind arrows a few of you left for me on this entry Blogs To Books~ Now, if I had dear Miss Kindle2 in my possession, it would have already been zapped via insta-gratification through the Kindle airwaves, but since I am still without ultimate book coolness, I have to wait until it arrives in the mail from Amazon. Thank ye souls of mucho information.

Bandon Hiding her Head From the Camera

Bandon, my sweet and shy Golden Retriever is great. She’s still ducking from the camera like it’s going to laser her from afar. My black lab Sako is still feigning deafness on a daily basis and as much as I’d like to be just as stubborn, it simply doesn’t work when she’s wandering down the street. The 3 cats are still reigning Queen Beeotches around here and the Shit-Zoo is still unexplainable.

Yes Chris, Robert is Tall. He’s 6 foot 5 inches. He passed my pre-set height requirement for Husband consideration. Not that I’m height racist, swear, it’s just when it comes to other halves, I didn’t want the guy I’m with eye level with my breasts. Call me crazy, but us ladies have a hard enough time keeping men’s focus off that area, hence, my guy needed to be tall enough to look me in the eyes first, then he can look down.

NO! I haven’t pushed the Damn Button, Rebecca of little technology faith is FEARFUL ~~~ I am still holding out. I tried to get Heather, of solid faith to be the guinea pig and push her athulupa button, but evidently she’s already upgraded. I also offered Heather a dollar to figure out how to get rid of those gray bullets that annoy the hell out of me over to the left, but evidently I need to sweeten the pot because I’m still waiting. 2 dollars? (smile and you know I’m kidding! Ehh, but seriously, I’ll give you 2 bucks)

Thank you to those who went and voted for Provocation of Mine (d) at the bloggers choice awards. Much appreciated!

In case you were wondering what the ultimate decision was about the lip ring and potentially modified daughter. Let me tell you. After a good pow-wow, which both teenage daughter and Mother resisted any and all eye rolling, huffing, puffing and glares. It was decided that if Shelby would still like a lip ring at age 18, more power to her. But at this point in time we settled on double ear piercings. I’m good with that. By the way, I tossed out the entire making out theory you all had. Worked pretty damn well if I might say so myself. You all deserve a pat on the back! Well done. Parents unite!

Ok and lastly, this is for Mary who nudges in the most subtle ways. Like a bat upside the head (kidding darlin, kidding)

‘Ignorance is bliss’ has it’s merits. Ignorance of the blissful, unknowing category, does have it’s place in the world around us. I should know, I have a list of completely acceptable, self appointed, ignorance will keep me sane items.

Things like:

I don’t WANT to read nor listen to the news, about some study on how many microscopic bed bugs reside in my bed. I prefer going to bed at night on what looks and feels like crisp clean bedsheets, hospital sterile clean. I’d rather NOT know I’m possibly laying in a colony of bugs that are pissed off I’m squishing the roadways and suburbs they constructed during the day. Clearly, ignorance is sleeping bliss here.

I do not, repeat,do not, want to know if I’m about to uncover ((shudder)) worms when I’m trying to flex my green thumb. I’m always prepared for an unwarranted attack from those monstrous (choke) worms, but I don’t WANT to know when it’s coming. I prefer to play ignorant to the possibility and tempt the dangers commonly found in gardening. Since ((dry heave)) worms are my mortal enemy, ignorance of exact location is my only security blanket. (By the way, in case you feel the instant urge to be cute here, you have no idea what sort of phobia you are dealing with. Fanatical. Resist the worm jokes, descriptions or anything else that springs to your brilliant mind, mainly I’m talking to you boyzz! RESIST!)

I have no interest in knowing what the calorie count of a big fat slice of cheese cake, complete with toppings amounts too…..It can be 500 calories, or 5,000, I simply do not care. I want to enjoy the entire culinary delight without imagining each individual calorie parading through my body to take up residence on my ass. Calorie knowledge is a clear violation of the enjoyment of food enactment and therefore my education of calories will remain in the ignorance is yummy category.

I do not appreciate when someone says,  “We need to talk, but I don’t have time right now.” You know, that REALLY rattles my mental imagination levels. Why say anything at all…when you could just call later and spill the beans?  I’m already situation creative as it is, I don’t need lag time and several hours to think before the big reveal.  By the time you call to tell me you got a new purse yesterday, I will have already imagined you or someone in your family is dying, or I’m dying and just didn’t realize it, or your boyfriend is cheating on you, or you’ve decided you wanted to be a stripper on the weekends. On this note, if  it’s important, and you want to tell me, do it then, or say nothing until you can give full disclosure. Let me remain in a cloud of ignorance is unimaginative, uncreative, peaceful…. Ignorance does not fuel rampant creative movies in thy head. Shhh until your ready to spring the details.

The concept of ignorance is bliss, allows for one to be perfectly happy without knowing certain things. I could probably name 100 things I’m extremely happy NOT knowing the ins and outs of, turning a blind eye, keeping my safety bubble inflated and bug free. I imagine everyone that visits this page could name off a few items they like to keep in their ‘ignorance is bliss’ column, right???

Now, to every good, there is a bad and “Ignorance is bliss” has also been an unacceptable excuse for turning the other cheek to things no person should be ignorant about. Despite all the beauty this world delights us with, there is also the ugly and it is our responsibility to open our eyes, seek knowledge, take a stand and show intolerance to certain ignorance.

Please visit: Heather, is a young woman I appreciate and admire. She offers a voice of experience, to the unacceptable dark she once endured. She is shining a light on that darkness and displays the sort of courage anyone can find inspiration in. Her journal is “Singing With My Heart” and her current entry shows that ignorance is not bliss, in some things ………………