Category Archives: Technology World

One That I’m Not Very Good At

Temptations of the Button Kind

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Bee to the Honey

Bee to the Honey

There is a button in my blogs back office that has been enticing me for over a week now. It says —–Upgrade to Atahualpa version 3.3.2 available. Install now—-That would be the template I use to contain all that you see on this page. The Mack Daddy framing, the Democracy that says, widget, you go here, font, you’re this size, pages, hold these words……Atahualpa is the church and pews and fine stained glass windows. I’ve resisted the pressure, so far, but I’m losing will power.

I wasn’t born yesterday, in fact, in light of recent discoveries, it’s apparent I was born 36 yrs, 11 months ago. Hence, I am wise, I am knowledgeable, I get to assume mature and sensible adult caution and know that clicking SOME buttons is tempting fate and all that is natural with the universe.

But I like to click buttons, a lot. I like to test things out and see what happens……usually I can’t resist. I am like like the moth to the flame, the cat to the curiosity and the fish that took the bait. Usually I~ can~ not~ help~ myself! Evidence of this button clicking, adjustment testing, irresistible urge to tamper with things, can be seen on my Twitter account. I’ve hacked and clicked, adjusted and moved so many settings that everything is whacked out and ill-functioning. Now I get to spend 1/2 of my time twittering, another 1/4 of my time in API violation solitude and the other 1/4 of the time staring at a near blank screen with a snide little sentence at the bottom of my screen mocking me with these words. “Status; There is a problem-don’t panic” ~~~ Works like a charm. I go into technology panic.  

One example, of my many forms of technology panic:

  • Computer screen freezes. The user (me) immediately goes for the top left red box with the X in the middle and rapid fire clicks it. I think that if I can just get the one offending and stubborn page off the computer screen life will go cozy and balanced again. click click click click, nothing. Jitters set in and I dive for the bottom bar and right click to close program. Sometimes this appears to work but things hover in no mans land, sometimes the little option won’t even present itself. Technology concrete. This usually will create irrational clicking of the spastic nature. I’ll start clicking anything and everything, thus overloading an already backed up system. At this point in time, turning off the computer won’t even work everything is so constipated.  This system of panic is sort of like taking a laxative and when it hasn’t worked in 1 minute, downing 10 more for good measure. click click click click=eventual nasty overall implosion. The only recourse left is removing the battery pack from laptop and start praying for a miraculous resurrection. Hell must be the destination of anything not saved….

But I still like to click things. There could be a huge RED button that says DO NOT CLICK HERE and it would take the strength of Zeus to pull me away. I’m addicted to tampering with things I have no earthly business engaging in.

Which brings me to the Atahualpa temptation whispering in my ear… Install, upgrade, install, comeon, don’t be afraid, install, push the freaking button, you knowyawanna, Install me…what are waiting for? Version 6.6.6?

So, I am afraid. For once, I am afraid to do an upgrade, click a button, tempt the Gods of Technology. What if I upgrade and I get this :::::FATAL ERROR::::: or all my settings disappear? The truth is, if I didn’t have bad technology luck, I wouldn’t have any at all. So here’s the deal, I don’t know how much longer I can resist pushing the Install now button. So, now you know the details. If you come to visit in the next week and discover a single splash page with this dire message, you’ll know the whole story………

~R.I.P~

Here lies Provocation of Mine (d)

“Like a bee to the honey~Rebecca pushed one too many damn buttons” 

It’s a Technical Envy

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~Isn't It So Pretty~

~Isn't It So Pretty~

Over the span of my lifetime I shall boldly claim I’ve been fairly immune to the bells and whistles of electrical callings. I’m so resiliant I don’t even have a iPhone, nor blackberry, or (gasp) a cell phone that takes basic pictures.  My highly evolved (or perhaps it’s stunted) immunity to technology has saved me truck loads of money over the years.

I know this because I haven’t bought anything. Around my house it’s same old TV that probably needs one of those converters everyone keeps talking about. My daughters have one video game system that they say is so old it’s grown long grey hairs out it’s nose and keeps dropping it’s dentures in the middle of a game. My laptop is 4 years, maybe 5 years old and if we apply the philosophy of computer years, much like the aging process of dogs, it means this laptop I’m typing on is close to becoming a fossilized fuel product. Dinosaur old.

But even people with immunity like myself have weak spots. If I think back and try to identify the first time I was effected by technical advancement fever, I remember video games. I wanted an Atari. Oh my god I knew life would not be complete, it would virtually come to a stand still and I would rot in deprivation, if I didn’t have an Atari and play Pong. So, my family got one. We ruled the kingdom of cutting edge. The euphoria of inviting other neighborhood friends over and giving them timed limits of play on the Atari was nothing short of pure youth power. But all empires must fall right?  This was also my first lesson in technical hierarchy. A neighbor boy, the dirty rotten thunder stealing thief, got a new game system, called an Intellivision. I was immediately DE-throwned by the neighborhood mob because of this new, fancier high tech model. How quickly we learn friendship, especially electrical, can be fleeting~ The word Utopia still grates at my nerves……….

That fall from grace was my first step into electrical current filled waters and I’d like to think I learned my lesson, electrocution style. Sure, I had a few more cravings over the years. A waterproof cordless phone from the JCpenney catalogue I just knew would revolutionize my phone time with girlfriends. A ghetto blaster, the bigger the better, seemed the only suitable playing device for Madonna or Michael Jackson. A Walkman for playing cassettes while on the move or during sequestered times in the car with the parents and brother. But on the whole, it wasn’t a priority in my life.

But, I’ve been mega-byte bitten once again and I want. I don’t need, but I desire. I don’t have to have, but I’m drooling with ‘could’… Instead of buying a phone that belongs with the era and can take a picture, I want a Kindle2. Instead of getting a TV that is smaller then a house, I’d rather buy a Kindle2. From the moment I saw the Kindle2 I’ve dreamed of all the ways she (because only a female based identity would do for something like this)…..she and I could become great book friends. I’ve thought about how she could slip nicely in my purse and produce reading material anytime I desire. I thought about finishing a book and instead of making the effort to trudge down to the bookstore, I could hit a few buttons and BAM, instant electrical infusion of the word nature. A library at my fingertips, how divine~ 

Miss Kindle2 could come to dinner with me and sit on the table against the salt and pepper shakers.I’m certain she would love coffee shops and enjoy long trips in the car. She could go on the plane with me and amuse the fly time away. Miss Kindle2 could even go in the bath with me like the old fashioned books as long as I protect her up in a zip lock bag! We have options and plans, herand I, and I guess Amazon as well.

Now, I am allowing for a courtship here before we make a $359 dollar commitment. My birthday is near the end of next Month and as long as things carry on in present fashion, her and I will be officially united in reading and technology on May 20th. I need to put one of those Amazon pictures over in my sidebar just so I can gaze upon it’s beautiful looks everyday!! Mail order ‘word’ bride~ (found one!)

If anyone knows why Miss Kindle2 and I shouldn’t be formally bonded through words, technology and money, this is when you should step up and say your peace or forever bite your tongue. (If she makes a bad reading partner then good lord say something! I don’t want to hear any ‘I shoulda told ya’ 3 months after the big day)

Do you have Technical Envy of something? Covet anything cool lately?

#Blogfind: I enjoy this blog for it’s daily simplicity that packs a powerful punch. Terri’s entries are inspiring, thought provoking, make me laugh. Some days she’ll grace us with a poem, some days a snippet story, or a quick inspiration filled thought to make a mind go Hmmmm…..Her blog is variety with a kick and I adore it. Go visit TJ’s Daily Expression Blog 

P.S. All BlogFinds will also be relocated and reside on their own special page, located up there (points up) in the page bar. See it? The tab that eloquently says, BlogFind….tricky tricky~

Well Twitter Me 140

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Do You Tweet?

Do You Tweet?

My name is @Rebeccahaswrote, and I twitter.

Joined: Sun 01 Feb 2009
Following:1260
Followers:1255
Updates: 1025

It’s been exactly two months since I offered up my first tweet for public consumption. I stand amazed and surprised I actually stuck with the novelty. I admit, I was skeptical, OK, highly skeptical at first. Starting out was uncomfortable and a bit like going to a dance without friends or a date to hold your hand. It appeared that everyone was dancing and socializing, but as a newbie you stand against the wall hoping someone will make eye contact and ask you to dance. People do this by tossing out a tweet with the @ symbol in front of your name, official connection. It’s all very romantic. Being shy or a wallflower does not get you interaction in the twitterdome.

I’ve observed a few things during my time in the Twitter Hood.

On a personal level, I’ve had to learn writing on a new playing field. 140 characters is a tiny space to write a thought for a long winded writer like me. If given the space and opportunity, I can drag a sentence past the point of no return. (ample evidence of that fact can be found in this blog) — 140 characters puts the vacuum seal on the alaphabet and I discovered I enjoy the challenge in the restriction.

And….140 characters is short on potential value, so I do find my inner wit (smart ass) pushing to get first crack at the keyboard and she, who is me, gets to spitfire quick power punched sentences in great numbers. She, who is me, the smart ass with a side helping of hopeful wit, enjoys the arena!

As for the people I get to observe~

I’m an equal opportunity follow and follower. Which basically means I haven’t been selective about who ends up in my list. Well, I take that back, I do ignore/block the free laptop bimbos with their alluring offers. Oh, and the cleavage baring babes offering free iPhone. Tempting as it may be to click those little freebie links that they bait under the boobies, I find I can resist……….

 There is quotes. Twitterdome loves a good quote.If anyone wants to get motivated to do something besides sit and twitter, they only need to watch the quotes flying by…. Now, on one hand, I love the quotes, they make me all warm and fuzzy inside, but they also make me feel guilty because it’s hard to seize the day, take change into my own hands, create a passionate life, when I’m sitting on my arse twittering. See the catch-22 in that?

And experts. There are a lot of experts on twitter. A lot of them. A whole bunch. And coaches and a few more experts. I have all my social media, marketing, and power potential covered by the flick of a tweet. This is good to know, truly. If I have a need, it can be addressed in moments, seconds, tweet quick by people who actually know what they are doing.

It does make a person who is not an expert at anything (like me) wish to grab onto something with Expert Allure. So today, I shall be an expert in drinking coffee. I say that because I’m fairly certain I’m reaching toxic levels of intake and surely that makes me an expert. I’m alive still! I”m not on the floor twitching and bug eyed. Thus, by experience factor alone, I’m highly qualified in coffee overdose survival. Tweet me, we’ll talk jitters.

For those who visit Provocation that are already participants in Twittersphere, I’ll see ya at the 140 gate. For those that have no idea what I’m talking about, I assure you, it’s easy, no blood is drawn to make an account and we birdies are nice people in all our fragmented chat. Make an account, @ Me and we’ll dance~

HA! Two days in a row

“Code Is Poetry”

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clockcodeCode is Poetry.

Those words have been mocking me for well over a week now from the (add your cuss word of choice)… WordPress help site. Every page turn, every seek and destroy mission, has been met with those taunting words on the screen. ~~~Code is Poetry~~~

In my humble opinion, some wise ass programmer added those illustrious words to a help site to taunt the individuals that don’t know their //:o( –!php/B.S.,  from two sticks on the ground surrounded by shredded newspaper. I would assume that if someone comes crawling to a help site, more then likely they are in ‘error hell’ and experiencing an Internet crisis. A person in panic can’t embrace mutual appreciation or opinion, that “code is poetry”.

I would also venture, based on sheer volume visits, I’m an authority on help sites and this topic (now). So I will speak for the mere humans, us people. We the people, who need help that is,  think code was created to toy with a persons rational, patience and mental stability.  Meaning, it can reduce the most civilized and patient person into a rabid swearing psycho. Doubts? Just ask my family………..

Oh, for the love of all things Google. I shouldn’t just blame WordPress. I’ve just come to abhor the expression, “Code is Poetry”. 

Over the last week, it’s been all about setting up 4…yes four..different websites. Three for work, and this personal one.  Despite my infantile abilities, I decided, or perhaps, arrogantly thought, I could handle it. At this point in time, I think my ambition far exceeded my capabilities. The time it takes to look foreign geek squad words up in google, then cross reference them between help sites, to piece together one sentence of advice in a thread that may, or may not even fix the error…..oh, and I can’t neglect to mention resorting to YouTube in the most dire of moments. Play, pause, go to website, play, rewind, pause, back to website….repeat 20 times.

I can now claim that I have crawled around in the bowels of computer coded swamps, and survived. (So did my websites) I can also claim that now that I’ve been to hell and back, I’ve got it down, no problem. I could do it again and again in 1/3 the time it took this last week. Woot.Woot. Me

I should say Thank You I suppose. To the help sites of WordPress, 1&1, Wise FTP, Google, Yahoo, Youtube, Aweber, and all the other random sites I crawled through. You’ve all helped me test my patience to the far extreme and I didn’t punch my computer, commit murder or even leave any nasty comments anywhere.

Code is poetry. Ha.

Rebecca Anne

google7c312a93a74f0e7a.html

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google-bot-450I would formally, and officially like to state for the record. I think google and it’s verification system can stick the entire concept straight up their arse. What ever happened to putting a simple little code in a sidebar for this sort of action? 

That would be my edited version of the last 2 hours of techie hell. The thing is, if your blog is new, and the title pages aren’t set for permalink, and you don’t know how to set shit up for permalink……

Actually, I digress, not one word of permalink is ever mentioned on the minuscule instructions given. Plus the fact no one on the help site(s) mention ‘permalink’ through the twenty forums, plus Youtube, I visited in pure unadulterated HTML desperation. (that is, until the last one that got me to my blazing glory here) Basically, a person is just screwed if they don’t speak the foreign language of webmaster.

The worst part, the piece to this pie that makes me want to upchuck in typography. (Yes, I know that damn word and meaning) Is the fact that it was so undeniably, sinfully, SIMPLE to do once I had ahold of a potential solution.  So simple it’s disgusting.

I’m just thankful I didn’t put my fist into the face of the geek squad on Youtube that certainly wasn’t helping my cause. My poor laptop survives again. Now, I’m leaving that title post up, to remind me why I hate playing with HTML anything.

And to signify……….VICTORY. I am the Master of my teenie, tiny, domain space.

Take that geek Fu*#*!!S