And now for the second edition of Google, We Need to Talk~

As before, the explanations of what we see:

• 1) All these stats only show up if the person actually visits my site from their Google search
• 2) Pink, which is the most important part here, is the exact search terms the person typed in to discover my blog as a potential information source
• 3) Occasionally, I’ll include the main Google page result to illustrate why Google thought I should be included with the search…….
  4) Lastly, I just may have something to mention or suggest to the Dear wayward Google travelers……….

Caracas, Distrito Federal arrived from google.co.ve on “When did huggable become social grace? « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for Am I a cold person just because I don’t melt my body with someone else’s physical structure.

Dear Caracas ~ Ohh sweet human soul, no, you are not a cold brick of un-yielding flesh just because you don’t contort your body around others. Take heart and take heed,  I have some advice as I have been in training of late. The next time someone comes in to hug you, quickly pretend their body is a swizzlestick you want to lick. Not only will you smile involuntarily, you’re mind will go to a happy place and the entire experience will melt away quickly. Might I suggest peppermint, oh and do not lick the inside of their ear. That would be considered bad hugging behavior! Manners now. R~

Bergen Op Zoom, Noord-Brabant arrived from search.yahoo.com on “Saturday Slumber « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for ballkicking stomping pain.

Dear Bergen Op Zoom ~ Quick, get me a map, where in Gods name is Begen Op Zoom? I seriously like that name location. Someone, “Where do you live?” and I’d smile and say, “You’ll find me in the Zoom zone.” Anyway. Ballkicking. I wouldn’t recommend ever exposing your nuggets to the kickzone of an irate female. Folklore and Urban legends indicate that’s a very, very bad place to go as a male. If you came to my blog because you’d already experienced the ballkicking stomping pain, first, I swear, I didn’t do it. I learned my lesson many years ago. My foot has lost the itch and testing desire to kick any male in the sacred zone. If this had indeed happened, may I suggest visiting a male holistic blog with possible remedies. R ~

Brooklyn, New York arrived from google.com on “Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for dont let nuffin provoc u.

Dear Brooklyn ~ That’s right, you tell ‘em. Don’t let no nuffin, –although may I say, if you pronounce nothing as nuffin, you may lose intimidation points based on 1) baby gibberish tone or 2) which is worse, they may whip out a Kleenex and tell you to blow your nose—provoc u! Just take a stand against provoc-tion.

Auckland arrived from google.co.nz on “I am, without Color « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for my eyes are sensitive it’s too bright, even in a darkened room, I’m thinking of wearing more pink this year to make up for my lack of earth tones.

Dear Auckland ~ I kept your Google search for two reasons. First, sympathy, because I get you on the sensitive eyes and the blinding tones of happy colors. Stick with black and white and you’ll remain warm and cozy. Second, I kept your search because it’s SOOOOOOO DAMMNNNNNNNN LONNNNNNNGGGGGGGG. Impressive long. Epic Google search long. As soon as I saw this I raced right over to Google and tried out novel length, random searches. Unfortunately all it got me was porno sites and how to make money on the Internet randomness. You’re so lucky you’re gigantic search brought you to the promised land of Rebecca Anne. Aren’t you the blessed little Google searcher you! R~

London arrived from google.co.uk on “She who goes Walkabout « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for walkabout sex scene. & Woonona, New South Wales arrived from google.com.au on “She who goes Walkabout « Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for walkabout sex scene.

Dear London and Woonona ~ So, being that I am American and haven’t visited your side of the pond, I realize based on your searches and several walkabout sex scene visits I’ve recently had……..I am SOOO missing out on something over yonder. So? Whatcha y’all got over there? A whole block dedicated to sex and walking? Is this a health and fitness thing or is it just a street of sex? A walk this way, walk that way and bamm, you get to the sex part? Inquiring minds want to know. ME. Oh the ways my mind can wander in such potential. Today I’m heading to the city hall of Boise Idaho and showing them my google stats for walkabout sex scenes. We could put Idaho on the map of American tourism if we just dedicated a block or so to this endeavor. Google said so. R ~

Caracas, Distrito Federal arrived from bing.com on “Provocation Of Mine (d)” by searching for www.your ass is mine.

Dear Caracas ~ Whoaaa ok, relax, I think I like my ass and no, you may not have it. I understand I mention my ass more then probably necessary on this website which brings in all sorts of ass searches. I’m resigned to this search fact now….. At this point in time I think I need to write up an entire entry just about the noble ASS so that all the ass travelers have an acceptable landing page to focus in on. You know, bulls eye style. I just hate to disappoint and my occasional ass references are hardly worth a visit, I don’t even have a picture of an ass, not mine, but a simple visual reference. I’ll work on that eventually. Until then, all ass visitors, may your searches land softly, squishy or hard as a rock (depending on your preference of course) but thank you for visiting anyway. R~

I should start an advice column. Oh the fun I could have…………