The Nature of Compromise
Bjorn and Bandon ~ Best Buddies
My Golden Retriever Bandon, a.k.a. dog who is terrified of the camera, has a BFF in the form of a sweet pit bull named Bjorn. Bjorn is claimed by my Parents, how they came to own a Pit bull is a whole ‘nother story~ I guess I mention that because you don’t see a lot of retired Grandparents running around with a big bad Pit bull towing them along.
I try to give Bandon many play dates with Bjorn because my other two dogs are older and get quite bitchy if Bandon so much as tugs their ear. However, good old jaws of steel loves to romp and stomp, and chase a stick or ball with Bandon for hours at a time. She has pledged her undying love to him because of it. If the excitement he displays when he sees her is any indication, he worships the ground she prances on as well…………
But even in love, they experience the breakdown of compromise in their relationship. Sometimes, they will both decide they want the same stick and what happens from there can be described as nothing short of a drawn out test of patience and jaw strength. As this picture captured, they can fight over the same stick for an hour. Never budging, eye to eye, never letting go of the prize and certainly never, ever, voluntarily conceding the battle.
In my early days of relationships and Men, I wasn’t much on compromise. Usually, I liked to captain the boat, control the destination and smile my way into always getting exactly what I wanted. Not exactly a banner thing to admit, but it’s truth. Back in those days, if I set my heart on the stick, I’d clamp down on it and hold until it was mine, all mine, or shredded and meaningless. Tenacious was my middle name.
But I did learn to let go of the stick more often and I’ve found life is less exhausting this way. I discovered I enjoy conversations that start with, “Well what would you like or what do you want to do?” instead of, “Hey, I want this, or I want to do this.”………This isn’t a recent discovery by the way. I’ve had to test the theory out for a period of years, the good, the bad, and the ugly style………..
Although the evolution didn’t come easy for me, it has arrived in full honor. Now I get to look at life as a display, filled with choices and compromises. Compromise isn’t about sacrificing what I believe I need, it’s about finding the balance between the people I interact with everyday. I do believe it makes me a better friend, a better Mother and a good wife. I just wish I had figured out the fine art of compromise in my twenties, it would have made a lot of things less….something………
Now, if only I could teach Bandon and Bjorn a bit of stick compromise, they could come up for air more often~
Compromise is important and crucial to a successful relationship. I believe that whole-heartedly.
Just as long as the compromise favors me.
Paul’s last blog post..Douche bag awards…
Reading this about Bandon and Bjorn makes me sad in some ways, Pickles can’t play with other dogs. I do try to give her quality time and enough to keep her energetically entertained.
Compromise…I’m working on that one, right along with balance. Compliments are a hard pill to swallow…
Honestly someday I feel like a little kid again, having to learn things all over. Life is so very different than what I used to know. I’ll get there, but it’s one hell of a ride. (Hugs) Indigo
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I’m tempted to /second paul, but I’m sure my wife would see it
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In all honesty, relationships are doomed to failure if compromise isn’t included – unless, of course, you’re a sub or a dom in the appropriate role. Then, well, that’s just…different.
It’s the compromise in a relationship that lets love win out over selfishness.
I wonder, Rebecca, if what you’re really talking about is a personal evolution from selfishness to something more altruistic?
Charley’s last blog post..What is courage?
LOL. Very cute picture. Hey there happy.
You know, now that I am thinking about it, it took me a long time to realize that compromise didn’t mean sacrifice. In raising “strong” women (aka feminism) I think we sometimes forget to teach them about the subtleties of getting along in the real world with real other people. I like to think I am reformed…
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That is a great pic of the dogs. Love it.
Compromise… Yep, I’ve had some of my best adventures while doing something that I wasn’t sure I wanted to do, but someone I cared about did. Although, I have to admit, I still take a book along if the compromise has anything to do with sports, Nascar, or visiting Rock & Roll Halls of Fame LOL!
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They sound like big sweeties
)
Hmm, I think Charley’s onto something here. When we finally grow out of the “It’s all about me” phase (I spent several years there myself, so I feel justified in saying it), we’re able to look beyond our own needs and wants and realize that it’s not all about take take take.
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I want a dog. I want a dog.
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So true. Compromise – but if we had mastered the art of it in our twenties…what would we have to learn in our 30′s??
~K
kel’s last blog post..It Could have been different…pt2
It took me a few years too, but compromise has not been as difficult as I first thought it would be. Not nearly as stressful as holding tight to that stick.
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Hey Rebecca! Got your link at Debra’s blog!
Very cute dog pic! Compromise is definitely a huge part of a relationship. Not easy, but necessary at times!
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Not sure why Rebecca, but I had stopped getting updates from you. Hopefully that is sorted now. Great post and I love the analogy. Life and experience has taught me the value of letting go of the stick. It’s just not worth the hassle in the long run.
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I wish some people hadn’t ruined “pitbull with lipstick” cause I’d work it in here.
Notice how even tenacious dogs mellow with age? We have to wear our teeth down enough times to realize the need to be right is chasing fool’s gold.
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The early part of Jason and my marriage was much the same. He is a very patient man. I love that about him.
I would love to hear how your parents came to own a pit bull. He’s a cutie.
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great metaphor, darling dogs, and cheers to compromise; it is so much smoother, these waters, huh
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Awww … this is such a cute picture …
I have yet to learn this “compromise” you speak of LOL … I’m selfish – in keeping w/ the prophecy
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