Any other Day
Grandmother Mary & I
I understand today holds nothing remarkable to the majority of people out there…….Just as yesterday passed for me without a significant bearing. But today someone is out there celebrating a special birthday or a milestone wedding anniversary.
Some people will breathlessly celebrate the birth of a baby and others will announce to the world their kid just graduated from High School. Today someone will find the true love they have been searching for and so on…Ordinary, yet, Extraordinary moments are happening all around us.
Within the extraordinary moments that today will bring, someone is going to lose a loved one. It will happen, just as yesterday someones heart broke as they said goodbye to their Mother, or Father, sister or son for the last time. All while I went blissfully about my day.
One year ago today, I was the person who’s heart broke. Who looked at the people walking past me and wondered if they knew how extraordinary the day had become. May 5th, will forever be special to me, a remarkable day, a time for pause and memories. It is the day I kissed my Grandmother for the last time. The last time I held her hand and felt how soft it was. A year ago was our goodbye.
Shortly after she was gone, I wrote this Letter #2) Death and Loss to my daughters. Today I read it and still feel the same. I was lucky, it was extraordinary, to be with her when she passed……..
I am not sad today, not in the way I believe is expected. Instead I’ve been thinking of all the beautiful things that was Grandmother Mary. The way she circled up her big huge family and loved everyone abundantly. The way she never, EVER, said anything negative against anyone, with this exception~ Just a few days before she passed away, she blessed me with one negative sentence. I was sitting with her at the hospital in the early morning. She had requested that if she fell asleep to make sure and wake her up for the Price is Right, which I did. When it came on, she pointed to the TV and whispered, ”Drew Carey, is a bad substitute for my Bob Barker.” It was divine.
Grandma always threaded a nasty, *gag* vile worm on my fishing hook. When I was a kid, as a teen, in my twenties, in my thirties and never gave me shit about it. That alone was enough to earn her Saint Grandmahood. But she was also my first pen-pal. The person who influenced my love for writing letters to people through the snail mail system. I have all those letters now. The ones she wrote me, and the ones I wrote her. A priceless gift I had no idea would eventually come back to me. I am blessed by her sentimental safekeeping. Love you and miss you G-Ma~
Everyone knows they should appreciate the people around them, daily, if not hourly, considering we have no idea what our day may bring. We know it, but sometimes, it’s good to be reminded of that extraordinarily, ordinary concept………
I’m so glad you had that relationship with her. I think that’s why you’re not sad.
*hugs*
kate’s last blog post..is your child a bully?
I have no words to express how I feel about losing my grandparents and my parents. I am just thankful for the gifts they gave me. I happy for you, as you have been loved. You did answer one question I have pondered. Being a fisherman, and knowing your love for the sport, I was wondering how you got that little worm on the hook. I assumed you were and avid fly fisherperson but I think we all start out with the little worm on our hook.
Thank you for this entry Rebecca.
Smiles
David’s last blog post..It’s Derby Day
This was wonderful! I loved reading this. And as sad as I am that you have lost her, it’s so awesome to see such a connection you had with your grandmother. you are indeed very lucky. thank you for sharing.
Jenni James’s last blog post..What is THAT???
It’s fitting, I think, that your grandmother’s name was Mary. May is the month of Mary in my faith, and your grandmother and the Virgin share many loving, wonderful, pure characteristics that shine brightly still, even after being gone.
A celebration of love and hope for those lost to us is one of true gratitude. Thank you for sharing.
A side note – I am thrilled to find another person who abhors putting worms on hooks. I can’t stand it. It’s vile!
Charley’s last blog post..Rain’s plea ~ draft
A beautiful commemoration of a loved one’s life. Thank you for sharing it with me.
It’s interesting to me how a post like this evokes such emotion in me. Thank you for baring your soul to us, the lowly public. We are better people because of it.
Paul’s last blog post..Public toilet decorum…
I remember that letter to your daughters hon. I hadn’t realized it’s been a year since her passing. I know Dec. 2nd I took some time to reflect and remember Mom (Paul’s Mom). I still miss her dearly but in retrospect I was truly lucky to have known her in my life.
Your grandmother being the worm bearer and never once joshing with you, the way I would have is priceless. All the stories you’ve told of her, all the words you have spoken are such a beautiful tribute to the life she lived and stay with me, reminding me about the special tugs of love and relationships. You’re in my thoughts today dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo
Indigo’s last blog post..Creep
Rebecca, Thanks for sharing memories of your grandmother, may she rest in peace. The passing of the baton is such a subtle and precious art. We are blessed to have loving, vibrant, beautiful souls in our lives who help us along our paths. Thanks for the always-needed reminder to be thankful – moment by moment – for the many gifts in our lives.;-)
Debbie’s last blog post..One Darn Lovely Award!
Hugs to you on this memory.
Thanks to a large mail packet that arrived from you one day, I got to know your grandmother a little better & introduce her & some of your words to other caregivers, & facility employees.
She is/was beautiful.
And as someone said one day when I was giving a talk, with your letter included: Hope she brings her a can of worms one day…..
~Mary
Mary’s last blog post..Raccommoder
I’m back, because….
Reading the first part of this, I started thinking of irresistible little snapshots of new babies, young lovers, cruises launched, cures found, hope springing anew. Thanks, there are incontestable benefits to thinking this way. It stimulates my optimism. Each year when my parents “anniversaries” come up, I will try to remember all the people celebrating the good in life on that very day.~Mary
Mary’s last blog post..Raccommoder
I remember that letter from last year, it was wonderful.
Astaryth’s last blog post..In Celebration of Star Wars Day…
I can’t really say much right now, because your entry made me miss those who I have lost, and made me think about those I will lose in the future. As you wrote, never take these moments for granted. Never.
Beth’s last blog post..Who really does this stuff?
Wow– what a wonderful “shake up” to my morning. Between this post and the last one, you’ve made me completely re-think my attitude toward today (been up since 3am after a fitful, sleepless, grumpy night). I always get so much out of reading your writings– thank you. Hope you have a beautiful, spring-in-Idaho day!
Beholden-to-Nature (Kenna)’s last blog post..Showing at the Stockton Art Walk- Friday
What a lovely commemorative post. I too learned much from my grandparents on both sides of my family. The wisdom they imparted was based in celebrating each day as one full of opportunities for living, loving and learning. I treasure the memories of the happy times and the sad times we experienced together and frequently reflect on the lessons I learned from them but they passed on tears ago and since their passing I haven’t celebrated their anniversary dates. Thanks for providing this lovely nudge to do so from now on.
timethief’s last blog post..The Beauty Pageant Disease
Grandmas are so special. It’s wonderful that you have letters from her to cherish and share with your own children one day, so they will know her too.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Random Wednesday ~ inconceivable
Gah, if my arms were long enough I would be hugging you right now. You are a remarkable women! Thank you for sharing your stories with us. Your grandmother seems so lovely and caring, not to mention so darn cute! I have always been a ‘grandma’s girl’ so I can not imagine the hurt you must have went through. I’m not looking forward to the day my grandmother passes.
I read your letter “Death and Loss” and I am speechless. I, too, feel the same about death as you do. The part about staying in the room or not gave me chills. My mother passed away a few years ago after battling cancer and although seeing her in so much pain and slowly drifting away was terrifying, I am SO glad I stayed there with her. I would have done it over and over again, just as you’ve said. Deciding to stick by her side for days and days at a time, rarely sleeping or eating, was one of the most fulfilling things I have ever decided to do. I was WITH her. And in those final moments.. I learned so much about life, about death, and about love. I’m glad I never left her side.
Again, thank you for sharing your story. I hope people out there know how important it is to LOVE their friends and family and continue to do so.
I noticed something. hehe, Both mine and your grandmother shares the same name. And you have the name of my mother, pretty neat.
Latrina’s last blog post..Uncovering who we really are.
She sounds like a truly remarkable lady. How blessed you are to have had her in you life.
ellyn’s last blog post..Ensuring She Is Getting Enough Blood To Her Brain
thanks for sharing this; what a great picture, what a touching story; she wormed your hook
I love to fish, btw. but for tonite, I’ll keep it with the sweetness that is here and the memory of your G-Ma. Thanks so much for sharing this.
jana’s last blog post..See how they Shine
I understand.
And, it’s my cousins birthday (May 5th), actually, two cousins birthdays, from completely different coasts and sides of my family.
But, that doesn’t matter. I’ll forever and ever treasure my memories w/ my grandmother, too. I’m sure yours knew just how very special she was to you, and you know how special you were to her.
There is much taken for granted in this world. Instead, I see you take note, and appreciate.
Oh, and I DO see your header even when I click on just the blog post link. Wow. And, I like it going across like that, pretty and springlike.
Thanks for sharing your grandmother.
Robin’s last blog post..THIS explains Twitter.
** wiping tears **
Beautiful thoughts about a truly special person. Losing my grandparents has been the most difficult thing I’ve had to face, so I can understand how you are feeling. Thank you for sharing this. big hugs, ~ L
I’m all near tears now after reading this … My boyfriend just lost his grandmother about two or three weeks ago and he was heart-broken for the woman who helped raise him.
This is such a thought provoking post. I never really think about others and what day they may be having …
Nydia’s last blog post..Wordle Wednesday – Overwhelmed …