On Being Mom
~Proof is in the picture~
Mom 1: Yesterday I wasted better part of an hour trying to change my font size here. In my usual fashion, once I skidded past the point of reasonable patience I started verbally attacking my computer and the Church of Wordpress. Since I can be loud during momentary rants of evilness, my youngest daughter Kaitlyn came into my office to investigate. This is how it went down.
Kaitlyn: “Tell me the problem and let me see if I can help you fix it.”
Me: “All right Mizz Smarty Pants. This thing here says my font is 0.8em, but if I move it to 0.9em which seems logical, I hate the way that looks, all wrong. I googled font sizing, but it’s either these ems things which is what wordpress uses, or px size and it’s all in code that I know nothing about. I just want plain old run of the mill size 12 font.”
Kaitlyn, staring intently at the screen of voodoo codes, “Ok, so you want a font size 12, which is actually px, but your system runs off ems. We just need to convert the sizes, it’s a simple mathematical formula Mom.Plus, you have to realize different font families will always exhibit different sizes, so you’ll probably need a nice simple font family like Times Roman”
Me: “Errr, Ummm, well, ya, ok I was getting to that. So, how would you figure out the, what did you say, conversion rate on font size, because that’s exactly what I would do.” (HA, haahahah, sure I would have)
Kaitlyn grabs a scrap of paper, she starts scribbling down numbers and lines and a mix breed of what looks like hieroglyphics’s mixed with my nightmares from school. And suddenly….
Kaitlyn: “Ok, I’ve got it, for every 3 px it equals .25 em. So if you want 12 font it’s a simple 1.0em, if you want to go smaller, like size 11 font, you can go .916em and it should be perfect. Anything else?”
Me: “Ahhhh, no sweetie, that should do it. Thank you so much. ” And as she walked away I thought to myself, I gave birth to her right? As in, that is my child, of my blood, my genetics. She is my people, but she speaks in alien tongue…………
~~~~~~~~~
Mom 2: Last night. Shelby comes in, beautiful, smiling, a twinkle in her eye. I immediately crouch into protective mode, she wants something, I can feel it in my Mother bones.
Shelby: ”So Mom, I was thinking, I think it would be awesome if I got a lip ring, what do you think?”
Me, careful not to show any quick movements, nor a flicker of horror, and certainly not a gasp of hell NO. I’ve been the Mother of a teen for awhile now, they have tactics, and so do I. These situations become a test of smiles. First person to break rank and glare, huff, puff, grind teeth or roll their eye’s…. loses. ”Oh, wow, you do huh….well that’s an interesting twist in the accessories department.”
Shelby: “I think so, and it would be pretty, just a small one. Don’t answer now, just think about it and we’ll talk about it tomorrow k, love you. ” And off she bounces………..
So, I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. And this is what my mind sees and then imagines……
~Current Shelby Nov. 2008~
Current Daughter, Shelby, age 17.
Natural.
Good student.
Gorgeous Smile. Clean lips.
Social Butterfly.
Caring.
Almost to college.
Eager to start life on her own.
And if I start to think, well maybe I could say yes to her request because maybe,… it wouldn’t be the end of the world…….my mind goes HERE………..
~My New Modified Daughter give or take 2 years~
lip rings make it a lot harder to make out…….just a thought from someone who never had one but has ahem ….experienced….them in my life.
Did you ever watch “An Officer and A Gentleman”? They made a good point about tattoos in the movie. My father was an officer and he wanted me to be one too. Officers don’t tattoo their body. That thought has always stayed with me. When the topic was address with both my boys, I addressed it quietly and with a serious point. Why and what good will it do? Neither one has approached me about piercing. Trust your judgment, you have raised two beautiful, intelligent daughters.
David
David’s last blog post..Buddy’s awake
I understand your concern. Maybe it’s just one of those peer pressure phases? That “modified” picture, priceless and hilarious!!!
As for Kaitlyn, just be thankful that you are blessed with a brilliant daughter! I am so impressed how she came up with all of that, I never would have either!
For Shelby, I agree with the ‘makeout’ comment – I never had one either, but have experienced one. Anyway, I was the same when I was her age, wanted a belly-button ring though. My mom’s explanation why not? SPORTS! It is obvious that Shelby is a cheerleader (great pic!) and remind her what would happen if she were to fall, or that lip ring were to get caught on something and …riiiiip!
Good luck!
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There is always a chance of infection with any piercing. And I find them just yukky myself not attractive at all. But your daughter could care less what someone as ancient as me thinks.
Will she have to interview during any part of the college entrance process? (I assume she’ll be doing that within the next year or so, right?) If so, I’d advise to hold off on the unusual piercings for now. Much as we all wish it weren’t this way, people do judge others by how they look. Be sure to sympathize with your daughter about how judgmental people can be, but see if you can get her to hold off until she is accepted to school. And if she waits that long, she may get over the idea anyway.
I will chime in from the male side – also never having had one, but having a bit of experience with someone else’s – that lip rings are not particularly pleasant when it comes to making out. Quite the opposite. Then again, as the mother of a teenager, that might not be such a bad thing.
At least they don’t make you lisp,like tongue piercings.
And, unlike tattoos, they don’t require painful and expensive laser treatments if you decide to get rid of them.
Honestly, the making out angle never crossed my mind. I suppose thats another place my mind doesn’t like to travel towards.
However, it’s on my radar and in my ammo belt now!
Thanks everyone.
I could just give a big fat NO, but I’d rather be so overwhelmingly prepared with evidence to the negative she’ll see the light and agree it was a bad idea to start with………
Dreams of a Mom~
Rebecca
Alright, every topic needs a commie pinko liberal, so I’ll fill that role today.
Lip rings can be removed temporarily for interviews and special occasions. Also, unlike tattoos, lip piercings will heal on their own.
I don’t know your daughter, but she seems pretty grounded. Where’s the harm?
Just my two cents.
Paul’s last blog post..Today is going to be a good day…
This is how Skye and I worked through these things. She comes over and reworks anything computerized like a whiz. Meanwhile I’m sitting here with a total huh? look on my face trying to figure out what she did.
On the piercing topic…we met in the middle. No facial piercing. She was allowed to either pierce her navel or the cartledge of her ear. Skye chose her ear. Dad wasn’t so happy. She still has the cartledge piercing. Me? I’ve had my eyebrow pierced and can vouch years later when you decide it’s no longer cool, you will have an open hole that is bumpy scar tissue. Not so cool after all. Unfortunately they get older and do their own thing. The rule is as long as they live under your roof, you decide what they can or cannot do with their body (Sounds easier than it is in actuality).
Skye is now talking tattoos. Yep, I did indeed add an ’s to that. I keep telling her she won’t always be a slim size 1-2. Eventually it will fade and stretch. After they leave home – some things mom really doesn’t need nor want to know…(Hugs)Indigo
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hahaha…yes, we all go there (ok, can’t speak for everyone, but I do) and the whole art of huffing and puffing first…I totally agree!
~K
Piercings.. yeah.. well.. I… O.K. darn it, I have a couple. BUT, I have the excuse that I waited until I was 35 to get them ;p I personally am not crazy about a lot of the facial piercings, but some can be tasteful. I had an eyebrow piercing for ages that I loved. Like Paul said, they can be taken out if you have a meeting or something. Maybe you guys could compromise with something a little mainstream like a belly button, eyebrow, nose or ear cartilage? Those piercings are fairly well accepted by the public. The lip rings, not as much. Hey, at least she didn’t want a tattoo
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How much longer until her 18th birthday? I’ve got a 17-year-old son, and I’d tell him to wait until he’s 18, then he can do whatever he wants (and pay for it!). My 19-year-old son has eyebrow and lip piercings. Whatever. I imagine he’ll take them out sometime before he’s 30. At least they’re not permanent like tattoos. Are cheerleaders allowed to have lip piercings? Back in my day…
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Oh You do need the humor….and you have it gurl!
Raising “whatevas “isn’t easy but it gives you new light on a ordinary day!
Bless the mothers above all the others…that is my motto!
Hugs TJ
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I hope your talk went well tonight! Like I said earlier, I don’t mind the piercings, they aren’t permanent like tattoos… However, she should totally make sure she can still cheer with one!
Love you.
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Heeheeheeee! A stunning use of visuals, Rebecca!
Speaking from a microbiologist’s viewpoint, mucus membrane piercings and navel piercings are infections just waiting to happen. The mouth is teeming with anaerobic bacteria, which cause some hellacious abscesses and can be hard to treat, usually requiring surgical drainage and/or excision. Yes, worst case scenario, definitely, but if you could see and smell the products of such infections…well, you’d never want to take the chance. It’s some gross stuff, believe me.
At 18, it’s solely her decision, and maybe if she waits till then, she’ll get past the urge to get one. Or not. It really doesn’t change the person inside, but I sometimes wonder what is behind the urge of so many these days to have body piercings beyond ear piercings?
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Lmao! I love the “Modified Shelby” picture!
And you are sooo right about a Mother’s mind wandering to all sorts of interesting and fantastical but somehow accurate places …
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OH and I feel you pain in the “figuring out the font” thing … You and I have the same Wordpress theme and it took me a few days before I found the courage to conquer THAT mountain …
You’re daughter is a genius! I’m totally jealous …
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Your daughter is adorable! (the math genius one). I wonder when my two toddlers will grow old enough to talk in full sentences with me. But hearing about your daughter’s story (the 17-yr old) yikes, I better start making a list of strategies from now. I’m a pretty cool, open-minded chick, which means I can tolerate small tattoos, cartilage rings and other smaller, less noticeable piercings but I’m not sure about a lip ring–especially on my baby girl! (Although she’s no longer a baby).
If I were you, I’d tell her that lip rings completely change a person’s appearance, making him/her look more rugged, rebellious or edgy (if you prefer) and it’ll completely take away her sweet, pretty, feminine sides. But if her goal is to do just that -to look ‘edgier’-and won’t budge at your comments, then maybe you should just let her. She seems like a girl who won’t keep a facial piercing for too long. I know its easier said done but sometimes reverse psychology does wonders. If she gets it, just be sure to tell her how horrible it looks on her. lol.
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aaaaah that last picture freaked me out!!! Ok the first section … all the number talk had me dizzy. Piercing, tattoos, the idea of my kid as teens SKEEEERs me,… I must go press pause on my childrens’ aging process!
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I have to say I agree with Paul. It isn’t permanent. But then she isn’t my daughter. I don’t know what I will do when I have this conversation with Anna. Hopefully it isn’t for a very long time.
I look forward to hearing how it went down.
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I don’t suppose that my words will ring true here, but as the owner of two tattoos and with two more in the planning stages (though no piercings) I have come to one conclusion – body art, if done tastefully and appropriately for the world in which you live, *work*, and play, can be a beautiful thing. All three of those areas in our life have different expectations, rules, and populations, as such, all three judge us differently. What may be appropriate for play and our lives, may not be appropriate for work, and so on and so on.
When I got my first tattoo (I was a high school teacher then, fresh out of college) I thought long and hard on two things – 1) where can I get this thing where I won’t be judged by others if they see it? and 2) where can i get this thing so that as I age I don’t look like a sailor that’s seen too many ports and cheap whores?
The answer to that was my right shoulder blade. Unless you’re seeing me with my shirt off – not likely! – you don’t even know I have it.
I did the same for my second tattoo, which is on my neck. If I am dressed professionally you can’t see it and as such don’t know it’s there. And, otherwise, it’s unobtrusive enough to go unnoticed (even though partially visible when wearing a t-shirt) that it’s not going to distract or irritate people who casually see me in public.
So my suggestion to her and you is: agree to let her get the adornment, as body art can be a beautiful way of expressing one’s self. It’s art – not simply a piercing. As with any creation, it should be deliberate and thought out and personal to her. Since it is on her body and she will be operating in different spheres for the rest of her life, she must accept that a lip piercing is *not* appropriate for a work or serious environment. I would *never* let someone doing something important to me do it if they had a lip ring, even if it was my dentist. Encourage her to get it somewhere else. What’s the harm? It is her body, after all
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I was googling my screen name when I ran across your old journal, with a link to this new one. It’s good to see you are still creating the same high-quality output! I’ve not done much with my journalssince aol closed the journal site, still writing, and fuming, as evidenced by the many pages on the google list, but not in the journal format. I haven’t been able to find a site that allows me to use the fonts and sizes the way I like to, so I don’t post. I write the same in my personal “story book,” as I call it. Its a compendium with files so I can arrange whatever piece with all other like-minded pieces, but it’s not on-line. I miss the camaraderie we had then, and don’t find it in the other sites, but then, things are never the same, once you leave home. I’ll book mark this location, to return occasionally. It was a pleasure to have known you, in those days, and to have been there at the outset. Keep up the good work! (Of course you will–it’s a part of you, and you certainly don’t need me to affirm that. I’m happy to find a familiar face, as it were.) Best wishes, Bruce
God Kaitlyn’s smart. How do you not ask her about everything? What’s her plan for world peace?
As for the lip piercing, I would bet she asks you because she secretly needs the cover of telling her friends her Mom said “no.” With a smile. But the making out argument is a damn good one.
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I am so glad I down to raising two boys. Just so glad.
And if Trevor asks me if he can get a “prince albert” I’m totally kicking his arse.
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your daughters are the best. your mind, the visions, I am so there—-which is kind of iffy for me cuz the thing is, mine are both under 4 so imagine the miles my mind has to travel to end up at that image. You crack my up, your girls are amazing young gifted, lovely women, just like their mother. It’s good, being here, that is.
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