I am, without Color
I’m not sure how old I was when I first refused color on my person. The age when I looked my colorful Mother in the eye and said, “Nope, so sorry. No can do on the pink, or the blue, or the purple or the yellow or anything else that hints at colorful warmth and personality.”
My closet choices are extremely simple. 85% of my clothes are either black, or they are white. I’ve allowed a few pieces of gray, brown and dark earth toned greens to sneak in, but those usually sit in my closet ignored. Anyone that watched my picture video (that’s now been moved to my About Rebecca page) may have noticed it appears I’m wearing the same clothes, over and over……but I’m not. They are simply of the same non-color choice. Black or white.
I know there are some that would assume my absence of color is a way to blend into the background. That wearing black or white is a visual withdrawal from the eye’s of mainstream. I disagree. When I walk into a room I will be seen, I will make my presence known and I do not hide in the corner. I don’t need a bold color to let the world know I’ve arrived or if I’m going to be involved. Interpretation of that statement will be either arrogance or self confidence….a judgement I can not control.
The truth is, my mind is already overactive and vivid enough without adding to the cause. A red flower screams for my attention, a yellow leaf on the ground has my eye’s pinned to it’s allure. An overtly blue sky captivates me. Right now the streets are lined with the most delicious pinks and reds from the budding trees. I could trip over myself from admiration. But it goes farther then the obvious visual delights around us. In the strange lands which I shall deem, “Rebeccas mind”, I see colors beyond the scope of explanation. Emotions are colorful. Music flows around me in color. Words are color. Energy off an excited person is a color. And no, I can’t explain this, it is what it is….Those colors are a constant, breathing in and out of my mind. It’s damn distracting.
That is why, on me, color is an unnecessary influence. I’m too sensitive to it. The few efforts I’ve made over the years to incorporate a color to my person leaves me agitated, itching and heavily weighed down. I can’t stand it. In my little world, that which is closest to me must be kept monochromatic, simple or I can’t think straight. Clothes, writing materials, personal space.
However, I also understand my lack of color and accessory enhanced personality props, puts a bold circle around me. This circle line can be described as unfriendly, cold, unapproachable and stand offish. I believe thats a temporary impression and once someone gets to know me they know I’m not like that. But, as the old cliche implies, you only get one chance to make a first impression………
Which is why, to some degree, I’m going back to the drawing board in regards to this blog. I had an independent, non-biased review done of this blog space and the verdict wasn’t one I can live with. (this was a good thing, information I needed to hear and if you want a review done of your blog, email me and I’ll send you the right direction) I’m not sure how much warm and cozy I can bring into this space, but I’m going to try and find a happy medium. A stark and unfriendly impression has never been what I wanted to convey.
Of course, those who already know me, must realize if you come here and find the kiss of blog death sign, error= 404, I was pushing buttons and touched one too many friendly colors. (smile) Or, if you show up here and found yourself trying to read this sideways, that just means I’m knee deep in my template trying to make things better!! So basically, I’m under-construction and things may look strange for bit~
I wear mostly jeans and black T’s. My why is a little different than yours. I’ve spent a good amount of time working in fields where you dress in black, often long-sleeved black. To be able to pull off the hot long sleeved stuff when it wasn’t needed, you had to have something black on underneath. This was so if the T did accidentally show it blended. I did manage to have a personality even dressed in black. People would often stop me to see what was on my t-shirt for the day. Many times opening up the long-sleeved to check it out. I rarely disappointed. I must have 60 black t’s with insulting things on them LOL! Now, it is just habit — and besides, I’m stuck with a bunch of black t-shirts LOL!… although I have been introducing a little color this last 3 years since no longer working in a show.
Your blog never struck me as anything but pristine. Your concentration was on the words, not on the extraneous things. Kind of like those programs they have for writers on the computer that are very plain so they keep their concentration on their words. Maybe because I new you on AOL before here and those were very plain, it never occurred to me that you were being ‘unfriendly’ or ‘stark’ Shrug.
Like I said on Twitter last night, the background and header on my Blogger Blog are custom. The horse in the header is my beloved Boo. If I can help any, drop an e-mail, I’ve only worked in Blogger, but I’m sure WP can’t be that much different.
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I’ve strayed into the color zones at different times in my life. As of the last few years darker colors are prominent. There is a reason…(outside of finding myself more comfortable in earth tones browns and blacks) and that would be of all things my deafness.
How can my hearing effect my color choices? Easy enough my eyes are now quite frankly my ears. They do double work to compensate for the loss of hearing. Bright colors are distracting and hard on my eyes, making it difficult to pay attention to someone’s lips or mannerisms. It’s gotten to the point that even Paul is starting to dress more in darker colors.
So having said that, I would be able to hang with you easily on your clothing choices alone. As for the blog itself, like I said already – I never found it boring or heartless. (Hugs)Indigo
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But…you wear bluejeans, right? And that profile picture up there…is that sweater…plum? I am skeptical of your claims, Becky.
Paul’s last blog post..Movie night
Paul~ You got me. I do wear jeans. And I have one fleece jacket that is a deep plum purple I’ve worn occasionally over the years. Oh, and if you want to get technical, I wore a pink shirt for Thanksgiving a few years back in honor of my Mothers battle with Breast cancer.That was a one shot day sort of deal. Only for my Mother would I dare to wear pink for a few hours…….
That’s it. End of story. The extent of my color rainbow……
And the fact you called me Becky………makes me see red
I am just now starting to wear colour! My wardrobe is black, white, navy, tan and gray. I have one red bouse, one bright blue blouse, and some tank tops of colour.
I make up for the lack of colour by going nuts on PJ bottoms and undies, lol.
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Oohhh, more dirt….Bwhaahahaha…Ok yes, I’m backing away slowly Rebecca. So you don’t like worms, it’s a gag reaction and being called Becky makes you see red. Just saying…good to know when I get on your bad side, which I never – ever want to be on. Uh, yeah gotta run I smell something burning in the kitchen. (Hugs)Indigo
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Expose a few weaknesses and people get cute!
So, here’s the list.
Colors on clothes. Bad, but I’d live
Cooking. Are you hungry? I burn things.
Becky. Shut your mouth!
Dentist. Only heavily sedated.
And Worms. I will kill you.
Thats it. My offical list. But don’t let those fool ya into thinking you’ve got a hold over me. (ok, if you threw a worm I’d run screaming like a little girl the other direction, but then you’d have to hold a worm for life because the second you dropped it, I’d be murderous) My list of kick ass, knock down talents far outweigh my weaknesses~
Just saying
)
You are a wintry Winter indeed, aren’t you? I mix it up quite a bit, but my favorite is definitely black. Mostly because it’s kinda cool. I like deep purple…it’s the color of royalty, you know.
Whatever makes you feel most comfortable…I find it interesting that you feel very uncomfortable when you aren’t in the colors you prefer. It’s amazing how color can affect our mood.
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I’m mostly into cool colors, blues and greens. My wife says I look better in reds…something about my gray hair. Rebecca Anne, I was impressed with your camo. It’s nice to know what hot buttons one should not push.
Smiles!
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I love black, white, gray and all sorts of other great colors! I dress for whatever mood I’m in. My closet looks like a beautiful rainbow, and I like that. Choice is good. Plus, I’m a total clothes horse. And you, my friend, are beautiful in whatever color you choose. If muted works for you, then work it, baby work it!
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I totally agree about refusing to wear colors. But alas black and white are colors too. So I joined a nudist colony. Damn it’s drafty here.
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Even after the sleepless night you caused me, with all the ‘dings’ and email comment updates, I will respect your wish to be Rebecca and NOT Becky. I must admit that I am tempted.
I like that you are going to bring some new flavors to the blog, though I was already very satisfied. We get in a funk, sometimes, and need constructive criticism to steer us toward the development of our untapped potential. I happen to LOVE critical feedback, it means the audience is reading. It’s the dead space that I hate.
Paul’s last blog post..Differences that make us the same…
that is very funny because I have been admiring the simplicity of your design and thinking of going in the same direction! lol
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I’ve always been drawn to black..not so much white, but at the same time combinations of the two…I like classic, simple, pure, even…but I do like color. I was never much for wearing it, but as time has gone so has my lack of color.
Change is good, under construction is ok…I’ll be waiting to see what new you bring!
~K
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So you are shedding your white blog to become Saruman the Multi-colored?
Bad choice, Rebecca-Anne, bad choice! We all know Saruman’s power with words led to destruction of the Shire! What will you destroy?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!
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Every single item in my closet that has “Color” rainbow or otherwise my mother has bought me! It is always with a smile and encouragement when she hands me a “surprise”. I love earth tones, dusty, rusty and plain. My house, my blogs and my everything is comfort colors with a piece of ” hey look at me ” here in there except my bedroom.
The husband, after I had my year of battling the beast [cancer] gave my bedroom a face lift. Another surprise fro m a loving circle member. It is violet pink…a screaming violet pink!
He used 4 gallons of this love gesture and spent two days…I love it…at night…under the natural light of the moon. Just love, I say, I remind myself…just love it! [ lip curled up a tad]
Have a great day!
Thinking of you often…TJ
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You got a personal aesthetic is all. I would posit a theory that it may have been a reaction to growing up in a largely Mormon state, where all of these black and white inner lives are wearing colorful clothes and saying how-do-you-do with bright, phony smiles. I think your flipping the equation was a form of silent protest, and then you got used to it.
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I have been offline lately but am catching up – glad to see you are as witty & clever as ever, Becky (haha, just kidding! You will ALWAYS be Rebecca to me!).
Interesting
Color is so personal. When I was a CPA in corporate america, I had to wear more color and funky jewelry to offset the conservative energy. Now that I do interior design, my clothing is more subtle, color, pattern, accents. I noticed this in hindsight. My nervous system is very sensitive to stimulus, including sound, smell and my physical environment 
You are too darn cute; I honestly don’t really look as much at the canvas of this blog, it’s the personality that you have, the words that you share, and the energy that those have that keep me happy.
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This is a test to see whether my new blog address appears below. YES
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I just found your blog and found it interesting. I wear varying shades of gray. I sometimes stray to white, but never to black. I love gray from deepest charcoal to palest pewter. I’m not sure why I do it, and in truth, I never even owned anything gray until about 5 years ago. Maybe it’s habit, maybe I am hiding… I’ll have to think about that.
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What an intriguing analysis of the power of color and your own neutral world which really isn’t neutral at all. I think that black and white have such drama that they really do make a statement of their own, without color. Of course, I’m addicted to color, intense, vibrant colors, although I also like using black as a base upon which to layer color via accessories. You always write from such a wonderfully unique perspective!
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